Saturday, December 01, 2007

Peace -- Brother

So the Mideast peace conference opened and closed in Maryland, and I totally missed it because I was getting my back waxed. But President Bush went and promised to take notes, so we're cool. He's there with some Mideast leaders, and get this: they're talking peace. I love peace. Who doesn't? Peace is awesome. See, with peace, all you have to do is talk about it, and you're safe. You can behead, imprison and blow people up, because the veil of peace talks protects you.

So, call it an odd coincidence that at the same time we're talking peace, the Saudis have released 1500 al qaeda terrorists over the weekend. All it took was a promise that they are reformed - and that they will not wage war on the Arabian peninsula. They made no promises about inflicting mayhem elsewhere - like say, Iraq or your local mall. But the Saudis are confident these bad guys have seen the error of their ways, thanks to counseling. Counseling? Yes, counseling! We know how well that works. I know a guy who's done it for three years and still looks at panda porn.

So, do you trust the Saudis opinion? Remember, these are the same folks who punish rape victims for being raped, and behead people at the same rate that I bathe. Which is weekly. Look, I am all for reforming terrorists. But my definition of reform involves a firing squad. And until we convince the Saudis that our version of reform is better than theirs, I'll pass on the peace. And embrace the ammunition.