Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Fire all Voters who get their news from the Daley Show

OK ... since there is no Constitutional right to vote in a federal election .. I have an idea. Now I know that this idea is dead in the starting gate, but I like underdogs ... so what the hell, I'll give it to you here.

I was watching a bit on the tube this morning about that Rhode Island government school where the Superintendent fired every single teacher and the administrative staff. Why? Because they were failing ... year after year they were failing to provide even the minimum education to the students. A certain percentage of them were allowed to reapply for their jobs .. but only some. Result: Well, as you can imagine, things are really looking up at this particular school.

It is clear that the voters failed our country in the last election. They failed our country miserably. They voted for a community organizer with no real experience in governance and no experience in the private sector. They voted for someone who had expressed his dislike for capitalism and free enterprise ... declaring the free markets "the enemy." They voted for someone who was eloquent when a teleprompter was present, but bumbling without. They voted for someone who's campaign was based on a one-word focus group tested slogan, not someone with actual ideas. Our country is suffering because of what the idiot voters did in 2008. People are out of work with no real prospect of working in the private sector again. We are amassing unbelievable debt .. debt that could cause a true crisis within about three years. Our voters failed our country just like these teachers failed that Rhode Island school. So ... fire them.

The idea is simple. Let the states and local governments do what they want, but tell the people that insofar as federal elections are concerned, they're fired. They can reapply for their position if they wish to .. but they'll have to pass a test to get their jobs back. They'll have to show a basic understanding of our Constitution and the purposes of the three branches of government. They'll have to know who their representatives in Washington are. In other words, they'll have to show that they're citizens, not just idiots with voter registration cards.

Like I said .. not gonna happen. But we can dream, can't we?

Open Boarders

Just to remind you --- Barack Obama hasn't done one thing since Arizona's new law to solve the problem of Arizona's open border with Mexico. He hasn't done anything since he was elected. He won't do anything this week. He won't do anything next week. Truth is, Obama doesn't want to close the border. The criminal alien invaders will keep pouring in. Remember ... a Pew Research poll showed that 58% of Mexicans believe that Arizona belongs to Mexico anyway. Just keeping you up to speed. How's that hopey-changy thingy working out for you?

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

The AP is confused and I can clear it up for them.

Okay, here's my favorite headline of the day - no, make that year.

Take a look-see, for yourself

The AP headline reads: "NY car bomb suspect cooperates, but motive mystery."

Yeah it's only a mystery if you're in the media, and really stupid. Everyone else pretty much understands why the terrorist left a fuel bomb in an area filled with families.

He hates us. He hate our country, our culture. He wants you dead.

But the media - an entity full of fragile egos and bubble-encased boobs - just can't see that. In fact, it's kinda awesome how huge and gaping their blind spot toward radical Islamic fundamentalism is. If only there could be other motives for the mayhem, so they'd never having to place blame on anything (except America, of course).

So I thought I'd help them out, and find motives the media could be comfortable with.

So why did Faisal Shahzad try to blow up Time Square?

-Obviously, Global Warming. The increasing temperature forced him to jog at night, and he found the sunlight oppressive. Plus, it made his beard itch.

-Wall Street greed. Faisal had just seen "Capitalism-A Love Story," became enraged, but got lost and ended up in the theater district. Better luck next time.

-Bill Ayers never returned his sweatpants after that weekend in Catalina. Sure, it was a great time, but those sweatpants had sentimental value.

-Lenscrafters was completely out of the Rachal Maddow collection. So he had to settle for a David Shuster knockoff.

-the latest incarnation of "The Lion King" was unoriginal and passionless. Worse, it didn't reflect the damage George Bush did to the world the way "American Idiot" did.

-They're building a Wal-Mart down the road, and their affordable prices deeply offended his "mom and pop" sensibilities.

-Norman Mailer doesn't blog nearly as much on the Huffington Post as he used to.

-The electrolysis didn't work on his pubes.

-The lack of diversity in the workplace is disgusting - well, except for MSNBC. They get a pass because their hearts are in the right place.

-That same sex marriage won't lead to the option of marrying a goat.

- That George Clooney didn't find anyone at the end of "Up in the Air." Although I suppose - he did find himself.


-Those evil tea partiers made of mockery of Islam with their delightful bacon and egg salad sandwiches.

I'll stop there, because it really is the tea partier's fault -for they created the climate of hate that only encouraged Shazhad's actions In fact - I'd say the car bomb was a direct result of the tea partiers, the new Arizona immigration bill, Rush Limbaugh, offshore drilling, and of course: Fox News.

Because all that stuff is evil. Unlike, you know, real evil.