Monday, December 24, 2007

Oh Joy - Tomorrow is Christmas

Christmas is just around the corner, and I thought, as your humble blogging host I would tell you what I want under my tree. Of course, my number one choice is world peace. World peace is a really good thing, because it affects the world in a really peaceful manner. I also want an end to war. War is bad, as you know because it's not peace. I would also like to see a ban on waterboarding - except on people I don't like. Which, as you know is anyone who defends Josh Groban or those who read other's email and text messages. I mean, really.

I would also like people to take global warming seriously. And by seriously, I mean admit that it's a joke, perpetrated by the left to avoid talking about the real stuff that matters - like terrorism and the flimsiness of sanitary covers for toilet seats. They just slide right off, and it makes me cry. I would also like a pair of suspenders, since belts no longer fit me. I would also like a turduckengal. It's a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey stuffed in a gal. Its very tough to find them in the contiguious 48 states, which is why I'm turning to you, my reader, to ask if you have any leads. I had one once, in a bistro in Shanghai, and I can't get the taste out of my mind.

I guess if I had to put my wish list in order, it would be world peace, turduckengal, global warming and then suspenders. I'm actually working with the credit card companies right now so a portion of each dollar you spend will go to Jeff's suspenders. And that's something we can both feel good about, isn't it?