Saturday, June 10, 2006

SATIRE ALERT (for the terminally dumb)

Ehren Watada, American Hero

Just when I am convinced that the entire United States Military is full of spineless sheep that mindlessly obey everything they are ordered to do, a brave young Army Lieutenant by the name of Ehren Watada comes along and gives me hope. In an act of unprecedented courage, Watada publicly announced that he will refuse to join his Ft. Lewis Stryker Brigade on their impending deployment to Iraq this month, denouncing the “wholesale slaughter” of the Iraqi people in an “illegal and immoral war” waged for oil, and accusing the U.S. military of war crimes.

What a fine example of the caliber of men we have on the progressive left. Any other soldier would have to be tortured for days, perhaps even weeks before they’d have the courage to say the things Watada said willingly and proudly. They wrenched James Stockdale’s shoulders out of their sockets, shattered his leg, broke his back, and beat him relentlessly for SEVEN LONG YEARS, yet he still didn’t have the testicular fortitude to stand up against the illegal and immoral war in Vietnam. The weasel even slashed his own head with a piece of rusty metal and beat his face bloody with a stool to AVOID going before TV cameras and denouncing the imperialist aggressors so our troops could come home. Thankfully, John Kerry was there to do it for him.

If we had more men like brave Watada in our armed forces, this horrible war would be over in about five minutes. But he’ll probably go to jail for his courage. That coward Stockdale, on the other hand, got a goddamn Medal of Honor.