Thursday, June 09, 2005

Dean Vindicated, Most Republicans Do Not Make Honest Livings

DNC Chairman Howard Dean has come under fire recently for comments he made regarding the employment propensities of Republican voters. Dean was quoted as saying that "a lot of (Republicans) never made an honest living in their lives." A new study has shown that Dean may in fact be correct.

"We took a look at the types of jobs that Republicans hold and were frankly surprised," stated pollster Lemuel Fontaneaux. "Bankers, doctors, laborers even a few teachers and social workers. They covered the whole gamut. Finding registered Democrats who were employed was a bit more difficult. However, among the ones we contacted the most commonly held jobs were conscientious objector, political activist and coffee shop clerk. Interestingly, almost without exception every one of them aspired to become a college professor."

Fontaneaux went on to say that for the purpose of this particular study, the criteria for a "dishonest living" included the following:

  • actually being employed
  • accepting money for employment from a small, medium or large sized company
  • using the money from said employment to take care of your family and pay your bills
  • being employed in a field that does not involve the legalization of marijuana
  • driving an SUV to work
  • voting Republican

In a related story, a whopping 68% of Republicans reported that Dean is their number one choice as the 2008 Democratic Presidential candidate. Michael Moore remains second and Al Gore and Gary Busey tied for third.