Thursday, January 31, 2008

A Cry For Help

The four most overused words in the English language? "A cry for help." Whenever someone does something stupid - whether it's exposing their genitals to parking attendants or having sex with a mango - the experts call it "a cry for help." That's because a cry for help excuses any responsibility for the behavior, and it allows wall-eyed creeps like Dr. Phil the opportunity to make a buck. It's getting to the point that when you hear a real cry for help, you simply ignore it.

Case in point: Takahiro Fujinuma, a lonely Japanese man who called directory assistance ten thousand times, pleading with the female operators not to hang up. Today, he was arrested in Tokyo. The charge: obstructing a business.
But here was a case where the cries for help were literally cries for help! And no one cared. My only explanation for such callousness is that we've grown immune to real sorrow - instead focusing our sympathies on people who don't need it - like depressed starlets, animals stuck in grates, and of course, Josh Groban.

Me - I prefer to focus on real cries for help. True, many of these cries come from my basement. But that's why I've invested 4,500 dollars in high performance, sound absorbing thermal insulation. I suggest you do the same.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir, are worse than Hitler!