Saturday, June 03, 2006

Schumer=Schmuck

By now I'm sure you have heard that there is no small amount of angst over plans by the Homeland Security Secretariat to reduce by some amount the flow of anti-terrorism funds into New York City in favor of some other locations in the country. Now ... bear this in mind: New York City will still get more anti-terrorism funds than any other state or local government entity in the nation. It's just that for those in New York City, it's not enough.

There are people in Europe who think that once they've hopped on a plane, flown across the ocean, and spent three days in New York City, they've seen America. Sadly, there are quite a few people in New York who would agree with them. To them America disappears when you travel more than 30 miles from Times Square.

Charles Schumer .. heard of him? He's New York's senior senator. He is spitting fire over the diversion of some anti-terrorism funds to POTNY ... Places Other Than New York. When he discovered that some of those funds would be channeled to Georgia he had this little gem of a quote:

"Other states that have very little problems got an increase, Georgia got a 40 percent increase. Somehow this administration thinks that Georgia peanut farmers are more at risk than the Empire State Building. Something is dramatically wrong."

So ... there you go. Georgia is all about peanut farmers. Yankee arrogance and stupidity rears its head yet again. So, not that he'll ever hear it, I have a little message for Senator Schumer:

Senator. First of all, the money is allocated to the City of Atlanta, not to the State of Georgia. Last time I checked there were no peanut farmers in Atlanta, though you will find peanuts at Atlanta Braves Baseball games. The Braves, senator. Perhaps you've heard of them. Your Mets have finished the last 14 seasons sniffing the Braves' s collective asses. There is also an airport in Atlanta, Senator Schumer. Perhaps you've heard of Hartsfield International Airport? Do we need to remind you that the terrorist attacks of 9/11 were launched from busy airports? Well, Atlanta's is the busiest. Hartsfield is busier than LaGuardia and busier than Kennedy. Prettier too, with friendlier people. In fact, Hartsfield is busier than any other airport anywhere in the world. This ain't peanuts, senator. Airports need to be watched and protected, and the largest in the world could very well need more attention than it's getting right now. Something else, Senator Schumer. You do know that terrorists might use biological weapons, don't you? Ever heard of the CDC? The Centers for Disease Control? The CDC is in Atlanta. You'll find it right in the middle of a peanut field just two miles east of downtown. Just where do you think much of the important research in bio-terrorism is being handled? That's right, the CDC. I don't know if the CDC does any work on peanut allergies. Perhaps you could have one of your staffers check on that. Get back to us on that one, will you? Oh, and by the way ... there are tall buildings in Atlanta too, senator. And they're not peanut storage facilities. They house the offices of many of the nation's Fortune 500 companies. Some of them are even tall enough to have elevators. I'm not in the apology game, Senator Schumer, so I'm not asking for one from you. I did just want to point out that you did an exemplary job of showing your inbred ignorance with that statement about Georgia and peanut farmers. Thanks for fortifying the image that so many Americans have of people from New York.

Bush is just flat out wrong on this one!

President Bush spoke yesterday in Los Angeles on the subject of immigration reform. For the life of me I cannot figure out what is motivating his stance on this subject.

Bush, speaking to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, insists that any immigration bill passed by the Congress be "comprehensive." Just exactly what does he mean by "comprehensive."
Glad you asked.
He means that a bill that simply provides for tighter border security and harsher punishment for employers who hire people who are in this country illegally will not satisfy his demands. We're being invaded. Some of the invaders crossing our borders refer to themselves as "reconquistadors." If you don't hablo Espanol, let me help you. They are calling themselves "re-conquerors." Many of them ... who knows what percentage ... are not just here to find some better-paying work so they can send dinero back home ... they are here to conquer and establish political control of huge parts of the American Southwest. If their purposes were entirely benign, why would they print articles in major Mexican magazines bearing headlines like "Los Angeles is ours!"

Can anyone reading this think of one job -- one duty owed this country by the man we made president that is more solemn, more serious, more important than to use whatever resources he may have at his disposal to turn back an invasion of our homeland? Does the president's duty to protect and defend our borders only come into play if the invasion force is carrying guns?

This particular invasion force doesn't need guns. They're going to have a more potent weapon, the ballot. What does this "fast-track" to citizenship that Bush is so insistent upon really mean? That means a fast track to putting ballots in the hands of those we now call illegal aliens. This is the ultimate goal of President Bush, Ted Kennedy, John McCain and others. In fact, movements are already underway in many states and municipalities to grant full voting rights to non-citizens, and in some cases illegal aliens!

Think of the strength behind a ballot! Americans have been using ballots for hundreds of years to change leadership, to punish political wrongdoing, and to reward political courage. Americans now gleefully use this weapon to gain access to the property of others, and this they do without a moment's thought given to their legal form of plunder. A ballot can be used to change our very way of life in this country. A ballot can be used to gain access to the pockets of every single working American. A ballot can be used to open the floodgates even further to an broader invasion force. A ballot can be used to destroy our rights to property and to diminish our standing as free and independent individuals. What happens when this weapon is placed in the hands of tens of millions of people who had no respect whatsoever for the laws of this country, millions of people who broke the law coming here and broke the law by staying! What happens when this weapon is placed in the hands of people who show no desire whatsoever to assimilate into American culture; people who show disdain for our language and our customs; people who wave flags of their homeland instead of the banner of the United States as they demonstrate for their undeserved amnesty?

President Bush says that the " vast majority of illegal immigrants are decent people." Sorry, Mr. President. They're criminals. Criminals are not generally regarded as decent people, except perhaps by politicians. The decent people you speak of are the ones still in Mexico, still in Guatemala, still in Honduras and Colombia. The decent people are the ones who visit the American embassy or consulate to begin the arduous task of applying for permission .... legal permission to enter the United States. The decent people, Mr. President, wait patiently day after day for that magical notice to arrive from U.S. officials telling them that the American people await their arrival as legal, law abiding new neighbors.

Never have I seen a time when the politicians inside the beltway have been so completely and thoroughly out of touch with the American people. Eight out of ten Americans want the border between the U.S. and Mexico sealed. These Americans have somehow developed the attitude that the people they send to Washington to make decisions related to our national security have some sort of a duty to recognize an invasion when it is happening, and to take steps to stop it. They don't want Bush's "comprehensive" approach. They want a direct, focused approach. Criminals are pouring across our borders, and they want it stopped. Now. These Americans do not want amnesty for those who have wantonly and brazenly ignored our laws.

The House Republican leadership is talking a tough game right now. No amnesty. No guest worker program. But ... right now that's all it is. Talk. If Speaker Hastert and Majority Leader Boehner want to insure that Nancy Pelosi will occupy the Speaker's office come next January all they have to do is cave in to Bush and the Senate with a comprehensive plan embracing anything that looks, smells or tastes like amnesty. I think I have some sort of a sense of what people are fired up about, and believe me, this issue has people burning mad.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Main Stream Media dispise those who keep and have kept us free

In the aftermath of the Civil War, General John Logan, commander in chief of the Army of the Republic, proclaimed a day for memorializing the slain. "Let us, then, at the time appointed gather around their sacred remains and garland the passionless mounds above them with the choicest flowers of spring-time; let us raise above them the dear old flag they saved from dishonor," he wrote. "It is the purpose of the Commander-in-Chief to inaugurate this observance with the hope it will be kept up from year to year, while a survivor of the war remains to honor the memory of his departed comrades. He earnestly desires the public press to call attention to this Order, and lend its friendly aid in bringing it to the notice of comrades in all parts of the country in time for simultaneous compliance therewith."

So how does the "public press" celebrate Memorial Day this year? By plastering stories across the front pages featuring alleged atrocities by our troops in Haditha, Iraq. "The Shame of Kilo Company," banners Time magazine, which originally reported the story. "Bloody Scenes Haunt a Marine," blares the Los Angeles Times, and The New York Times proclaims, "Iraqis' Accounts Link Marines to the Mass Killing of Civilians." On the day before Memorial Day, anti-war Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., appeared on ABC's "This Week," demanding to know "Who covered it up, why did they cover it up, why did they wait so long? … We don't know how far it goes. It goes right up the chain of command … I will not excuse murder, and this is what happened."

Against the war, but for the troops? It's hard to maintain that hairsbreadth distinction when you're publicizing alleged misconduct by American troops before the facts are in, while American soldiers remain on the ground in Iraq. The military is already engaged in an ongoing investigation into the killings and will likely bring up Marines on charges that may carry the death penalty.

War is ugly. Horrible things happen. Those Americans responsible for reprehensible acts will be punished by the military itself. Why is this news?

Why the need for the press to trumpet this news as though civilians had never been slain in the history of modern combat? Why the constant reminders of Abu Ghraib? Why the continuous focus on what Americans have done wrong, rather than what we're doing right?

Simply put, the mainstream press does not give a hang about troops in the field. The mainstream press is worried about what it has always been worried about: maintaining its own status. Mainstream media breathlessly await reports of atrocities by Americans because media outlets gain authority by attacking governmental authority. It wasn't enough for Time magazine to turn over its information on the alleged massacre to the military; it had to "alert the public." This story isn't about alleged misconduct -- it's about the press feting its own bravery for exposing what should have remained private.

This is what the press has done for decades. Since the advent of television, media outlets have been engaged in a systematic attempt to tear down the credibility of the United States government in order to bolster their own authority. "You can't trust the government," the media says, "but you can trust us."

The Vietnam War became more about journalists (Dan Rather, Walter Cronkite) than about a war for the survival of liberal democracy in Southeast Asia. The welfare of the troops took a back seat to the press' sense of its own importance. It is a happy accident of history that this ongoing ego trip began after the rise of Hitler, or Nazism might well remain the dominant ideology on the European continent. Just imagine what the modern press would have done with Dresden, Hiroshima, Nagasaki. As it is, Communism lasted far longer and took far more lives than it should have, largely due to the arrogant self-aggrandizement of the American press; Walter Duranty had little on mainstream media's feting of Gorbachev, degradation of Reagan and purposeful opposition to the rollback of global Communism.

Until the press realizes its authority is far less important than the lives of American soldiers -- the same soldiers who fight to protect the rights of the American press -- American soldiers will continue to face heightened hatred brought on by superfluous and counterproductive media attention. The press wishes to both undermine the mission of American soldiers and simultaneously decorate soldiers' graves with flowered copies of the daily newspaper. This is perversion. The press' sick delight in its own glorification continues to increase the number of "passionless mounds" in Arlington National.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Iraq and Memorial Day

There may be a lot to regret about the past policy of the United States in the Middle East, but the removal of Saddam Hussein and the effort to birth democracy in his place is surely not one of them. And we should remember that this Memorial Day.

Whatever our righteous anger at Khomeinist Iran, it was wrong, well aside from the arms-for-hostages scandal, to provide even a modicum of aid to Saddam Hussein, the great butcher of his own, during the Iran-Iraq war.

Inviting the fascist Baathist government of Syria into the allied coalition of the first Gulf War meant that we more or less legitimized the Assad regime’s take-over of Lebanon, with disastrous results for its people.

It may have been strategically in error not to have taken out Saddam in 1991, but it was morally wrong to have then encouraged Shiites and Kurds to rise up — while watching idly as Saddam’s reprieved planes and helicopters slaughtered them in the thousands.

A decade of appeasement of Islamic terrorism, with retaliations after the serial attacks — from the first World Trade Center bombing to Khobar Towers and the USS Cole — never exceeding the occasional cruise missile or stern televised lecture, made September 11 inevitable.

A decade was wasted in subsidizing Yasser Arafat on the pretense that he was something other than a mendacious thug.

I cite these few examples of the now nostalgic past, because it is common to see Iraq written off by the architects of these past failures as the “worst” policy decision in our history, a “quagmire” and a “disaster.” Realists, more worried about Iran and the ongoing cost in our blood and treasure in Iraq, insist that toppling Saddam was a terrible waste of resources. Leftists see the Iraq war as part of an amoral imperialism; often their talking points weirdly end up rehashed in bin Laden’s communiqués and Dr. Zawahiri’s rants.

But what did 2,400 brave and now deceased Americans really sacrifice for in Iraq, along with thousands more who were wounded? And what were billions in treasure spent on? And what about the hundreds of collective years of service offered by our soldiers? What exactly did intrepid officers in the news like a Gen. Petreus, or Col. McMaster, or Lt. Col Kurilla fight for?

First, there is no longer a mass murderer atop one of the oil-richest states in the world. Imagine what Iraq would now look like with $70 a barrel oil, a $50 billion unchecked and ongoing Oil-for-Food U.N. scandal, the 15th year of no-fly zones, a punitative U.N. embargo on the Iraqi people — all perverted by Russian arms sales, European oil concessions, and frenzied Chinese efforts to get energy contracts from Saddam.

The Kurds would remain in perpetual danger. The Shiites would simply be harvested yearly, in quiet, by Saddam’s police state. The Marsh Arabs would by now have been forgotten in their toxic dust-blown desert. Perhaps Saddam would have upped his cash pay-outs for homicide bombers on the West Bank.

Mohammar Khaddafi would be starting up his centrifuges and adding to his chemical weapons depots. Syria would still be in Lebanon. Washington would probably have ceased pressuring Egypt and the Gulf States to enact reform. Dr. Khan’s nuclear mail-order house would be in high gear. We would still be hearing of a “militant wing” of Hamas, rather than watching a democratically elected terrorist clique reveal its true creed to the world.

But just as importantly, what did these rare Americans not fight for? Oil, for one thing. The price skyrocketed after they went in. The secret deals with Russia and France ended. The U.N. petroleum perfidy stopped. The Iraqis, and the Iraqis alone — not Saddam, the French, the Russians, or the U.N. — now adjudicate how much of their natural resources they will sell, and to whom.

Our soldiers fought for the chance of a democracy; that fact is uncontestable. Before they came to Iraq, there was a fascist dictatorship. Now, after three elections, there is an indigenous democratic government for the first time in the history of the Middle East. True, thousands of Iraqis have died publicly in the resulting sectarian mess; but thousands were dying silently each year under Saddam — with no hope that their sacrifice would ever result in the first steps that we have already long passed.

Our soldiers also removed a great threat to the United States. Again, the crisis brewing over Iran reminds us of what Iraq would have reemerged as. Like Iran, Saddam reaped petroprofits, sponsored terror, and sought weapons of mass destruction. But unlike Iran, he had already attacked four of his neighbors, gassed thousands of his own, and violated every agreement he had ever signed. There would have been no nascent new democracy in Iran that might some day have undermined Saddam, and, again unlike Iran, no internal dissident movement that might have come to power through a revolution or peaceful evolution.

No, Saddam’s police state was wounded, but would have recovered, given high oil prices, Chinese and Russian perfidy, and Western exhaustion with enforcement of U.N. sanctions. Moreover, the American military took the war against radical Islam right to its heart in the ancient caliphate. It has not only killed thousands of jihadists, but dismantled the hierarchy of al Qaeda and its networks, both in Afghanistan and Iraq. Critics say that we “took our eye off the ball” by going to Iraq and purportedly leaving bin Laden alone in the Hindu Kush. But more likely, al Qaeda took its eye off the American homeland as the promised theater of operations once American ground troops began dealing with Islamic terrorists in Iraq. As we near five years after September 11, note how less common becomes the expression “not if, but when” concerning the next anticipated terror attack in the U.S.

Some believe that the odyssey of jihadists to Iraq means we created terrorists, but again, it is far more likely, as al Qaeda communiqués attest, that we drew those with such propensities into Iraq. Once there, they have finally shown the world that they hate democracy, but love to kill and behead — and that has brought a great deal of moral clarity to the struggle. After Iraq, the reputation of bin Laden and radical Islam has not been enhanced as alleged, but has plummeted. For all the propaganda on al Jazeera, the chattering classes in the Arab coffeehouses still watch Americans fighting to give Arabs the vote, and radical Islamists in turn beheading men and women to stop it.

If many in the Middle East once thought it was cute that 19 killers could burn a 20-acre hole in Manhattan, I am not sure what they think of Americans now in their backyard not living to die, but willing to die so that other Arabs might live freely.

All of our achievements are hard to see right now. The Iraqis are torn by sectarianism, and are not yet willing to show gratitude to America for saving them from Saddam and pledging its youth and billions to give them something better. We are nearing the third national election of the war, and Iraq has become so politicized that our efforts are now beyond caricature. An archivist is needed to remind the American people of the record of all the loud politicians and the national pundits who once were on record in support of the war.

Europeans have demonized our efforts — but not so much lately, as pacifist Europe sits on its simmering volcano of Islamic fundamentalism and unassimilated Muslim immigrants. Our own Left has tossed out “no blood for oil” — that is, until the sky-rocketing prices, the U.N. Oil-for-Food scandal, and a new autonomous Iraqi oil ministry cooled that rhetoric. Halliburton is also now not so commonly alleged as the real casus belli, when few contractors of any sort wish to rush into Iraq to profit.

“Bush lied, thousands died” grows stale when the WMD threat was reiterated by Arabs, the U.N., and the Europeans. The “too few troops” debate is not the sort that characterizes imperialism, especially when no American proconsul argues that we must permanently stay in large numbers in Iraq. The new Iraqi-elected president, not Donald Rumsfeld, is more likely to be seen on television, insisting that Americans remain longer.

A geography more uninviting for our soldiers than Iraq cannot be imagined — 7,000 miles away, surrounded by Baathist Syria, Wahhabist Saudi Arabia, and theocratic Iran. The harsh landscape rivals the worst of past battlefields — blazing temperatures, wind, and dust. The host culture that our soldiers faced was Orwellian — a society terrorized by a mass murderer for 30 years, who ruled by alternately promising Sunni, Shiite, and Kurdish collaborationists that cooperation meant only that fewer of their own would die.

The timing was equally awful — in an era of easy anti-Americanism in Europe, and endemic ingratitude in the Muslim world that asks nothing of itself, everything of us, and blissfully forgets the thousands of Muslims saved by Americans in Bosnia, Kosovo, Afghanistan, Kuwait, Somalia, and the billions more lavished on Jordanians, Palestinians, and Egyptians.

And here at home? There are few Ernie Pyles in Iraq to record the heroism of our soldiers; no John Fords to film their valor — but legions to write ad nauseam of Abu Ghraib, and to make up stories of flushed Korans and Americans terrorizing Iraqi women and children.

Yet here we are with an elected government in place, an Iraqi security force growing, and an autocratic Middle East dealing with the aftershocks of the democratic concussion unleashed by American soldiers in Iraq.

Reading about Gettysburg, Okinawa, Choisun, Hue, and Mogadishu is often to wonder how such soldiers did what they did. Yet never has America asked its youth to fight under such a cultural, political, and tactical paradox as in Iraq, as bizarre a mission as it is lethal. And never has the American military — especially the U.S. Army and Marines — in this, the supposedly most cynical and affluent age of our nation, performed so well.

We should remember the achievement this Memorial Day of those in the field who alone crushed the Taliban and Saddam Hussein, stayed on to offer a new alternative other than autocracy and theocracy, and kept a targeted United States safe from attack for over four years.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Can it get any better?

And Now, A Word From Representative William Jefferson (D-LA)

Wjefferson
...so, in closing, let me just assure you once again that I am completely innocent of these baseless charges.

Wjefferson
And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to the business of fighting for the people of the great state of Louisiana.

Williamjefferson
Thank you, and good night.

A Left Wing Moonbat Fantasy (Satire Alert)

Oh What a Night!

Sunday marked the 63rd year since my teenaged mother was forced by her right-wing fascist parents to carry her unwanted pregnancy to term. What better way to forget my shame for being born than to enjoy a night of good food and good music with some good company?

So after a nice vegetarian dinner at Applebee’s, Tandelayo Schwartz and I went over to the Stillakoomish Riverboat Bingo Palace for the much-anticipated Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons concert. It was only six o’clock when we arrived at the venue, but the place was already SRO with geriatric, blue-haired groupies trying to relive their glory days. From wall to wall, the dance floor was a polychromatic sea of open-seated sweat pants, polyester leisure suits, and faded poodle skirts hiked up to reveal pasty white thighs covered with roadmaps of varicose veins.

“Woo Nellie!” I bubbled, rubbing my hands together with anticipation. “We’re in for one wild show! Ol’ Frankie V. never disappoints!”

“Aren’t these guys a little old?” Tandelayo asked. “I mean, my gramma listens to their music.”

“Music?" I replied with a snort of derision. “Who cares about the music? It’s all about the message, baby! If you want candy-ass, bubblegum pop tunes, go to a Neil Young show. People come to see Frankie V. for his biting political commentary and knock-your-socks off stage act!”

“I think I just got felt up by Larry Linville,” she said dryly.

I brushed aside her negativity and lead her to our seats. “Just relax. Sit down. Ignore the old people smell and fasten your seatbelt, Dorothy, because you aren’t in Kansas anymore and this ain’t your father’s Oldsmobile!”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” she said.

But before I could explain, The Jersey Boy himself took the stage to a standing ovation. A ray of pink light glanced off his sequined tuxedo and shot straight into my eyes, and for a moment I existed on several planes of both space and time simultaneously. Frankie’s trademark falsetto rang out the familiar words from Dawn, a Sting-esque ballad railing against Bush’s reckless environmental policies that snapped me out of my euphoric trance. Next came Rag Doll, a touching tribute to all the innocent children murdered in Bush’s illegal and immoral war for oil, followed by Sherry, an obvious jab at Bush’s drinking problem. They finished the set with an up-tempo version of Can’t Take My Eyes Off You that brought that house down.

I glanced over to catch Tandelayo suppressing a yawn.

“Don’t you GET it?” I snapped at her. “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You? He’s talking about Bush’s domestic spying program!”

She shrugged. “Can we go now?”

Not a chance, toots. I stood in line for nine hours buy these tickets before realizing I was actually at a Marlo Thomas book signing. Nobody, not even an androgynous, hatchet-faced wannabeatnik with a goofy beret and lensless glasses was going to ruin my special day. But before I could tell her to go catch herself a cab, a hush swept across the crowd as Frankie called for the stage lights to be dimmed.

“I’d like to dedicate the next one to the peeResident SElect and Commander in Thief,” he announced, his dentures punctuating each word with a profound clack, like a judge's gavel pronouncing Bush guilty as charged for all his crimes against humanity.

Suddenly, the stage erupted in an explosion of smoke, and a giant image of Bush’s face with a little Hitler mustache materialized overhead, seemingly floating above the astonished crowd as the familiar opening chords of Walk Like a Man blasted out the speakers.

Tandelayo sprang from her seat with excitement. “OmiGoddess! It’s so true! Bush IS Hitler! Why didn’t I think of that?”

The crowd erupted with wild applause as Frankie donned a rubber Bush mask and performed simulated oral sex on a crucifix while riding a donkey draped with the American flag. Behind him, a procession of shaved monkeys wearing Pope hats threw feces-smeared Bibles and used prophylactics at the audience while all four of the Seasons ignited their farts to the tune of the National Anthem.

And after all these years, it was good to see that age hasn’t dulled Frankie’s edge one iota. Way past their music prime, many artists feel the need to perform increasingly obscene acts on stage in order to maintain their fan base. Others slam the peeResident just to sell records. Not ol' Frankie V. he's still the same rock n' roll rebel he was late December back in '63. In these American Dark Ages of fascist oppression and squashed dissent, Valli is a modern day Paul Revere, riding roughshod through the streets of conformity, unafraid to yank our collective doodle dandy to make his point.

After the concert, Tandelayo and I stood in the parking lot, soaking in the afterglow.

“Oh Jeffy, you were so right!” she breathlessly confessed. “Everything he said is exactly what I as a progressive have known deep down for years, but have never had the musical talent nor the flatulence to properly express! I haven’t seen anything so politically relevant since Bob Goulet sodomized Bush in effigy at the Evergreen State Fair. Frankie Valli is a God amongst mere mortals!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Thank you Bobi

Sheesh:

The Senate voted Thursday to make English the national language of the United States. Sort of.

Moments after the 63-34 vote, it decided to call the mother tongue a "common and unifying language."
...
Democrats...said the proposal would curtail rights established by an executive order President Clinton issued to extend language assistance to individuals not proficient in English.

Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid of Nevada went further:


Reidsp1
"I really believe this amendment is racist. I think it's directed basically to people who speak Spanish."


Excuse me, Senator.


Reidsp1
"Yes?"


Shouldn't that be "at people who speak Spanish"?


Reidsp1
...


Reidsp1
"Racist!"

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaack - SATIRE ALERT!

Bush Opens New Torture Frontier

This week, Bush announced plans to send 10,000 National Guardspersyns to our southern border to help stem the tide of what some call “illegal immigration”. He assured us that their role would be a purely supportive one, their activities restricted to carrying the Border Patrol's softball gear and handing out Gatorade between innings. But let's not fool ourselves. The troops are headed to Mexico for one reason and one reason only: to torture people.

Torturing people is, after all, what our troops do best. And if there's one thing Mexico has plenty of, it's people. Every year hundreds of innocent men, women, and teddy bear-clutching children with big puppy dog eyes like that velvet painting I picked up in Tijuana pour across our border in search of the American Dream, but now they will find only the stinging humiliation of mishandled Qurans, forced lap dances, and pig-piles of naked Chicanos three miles high. To our murderous troops, these helpless innocents are not human beings who deserve compassion and respect, but merely nameless Latino gonads ready to be hooked up to portable telephones in a fashion reminiscent of Jingus Khan.

Democrats on The Hill are concerned. With most of our troops already torturing people in Iraq and Afghanistan, and thousands more watching Blacks drown in New Orleans, they worry that a prolonged deployment to Albuquerque might be stretching our military too thin - like beef in a Taco Bell Burrito Supreme. But their pleas have fallen on deaf ears.

Obviously, Bush doesn't give a damn about our troops. Vicente Fox's torture chambers will remain open, under new management, and an American Flag.

Thursday night is Ladies Night and Well drinks are always $2 on Wednesdays.

Friday, April 28, 2006

STUCK ON STUPID

"Iran's president said on Friday his country would pay no attention to international calls to halt its nuclear work, hours before the U.N. atomic watchdog reports on whether Tehran has met U.N. Security Council demands," Reuters reports from Tehran:

"Those who want to prevent Iranians from obtaining their right, should know that we do not give a damn about such resolutions," Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told a rally in northwest Iran, the official IRNA news agency reported.

Mohamed ElBaradei, chief of the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA), is expected to tell the council and the agency's board on Friday that Iran has not stopped enriching uranium or fully answered IAEA queries as the U.N. body asked a month ago.

On a related subject, here's an April 10 U.N. press release:

The recent record of the Disarmament Commission was far from satisfactory, but now, more than ever, it should use the opportunity of an agreed agenda to strengthen the disarmament machinery to effectively deal with new emerging threats and challenges, the new Under-Secretary-General for Disarmament Affairs, Nobuaki Tanaka, said today upon the opening of the Commission's substantive session. . . .

In other business, the following delegations were elected as Vice-chairpersons, by acclamation: Chile, Uruguay and Iran.

Chairing the U.N.'s disarmament commission is a country whose head of state doesn't "give a damn" about his obligations to the U.N. In light of all this, of what use is the U.N.? Indeed, isn't it worse than useless?

Sunday, April 23, 2006


Priceless Posted by Picasa

Priceless

American flag: $25
Gasoline $2
Cigarette Lighter $2.50

Catching yourself on fire because you're a terrorist asshole: PRICELESS

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

A Shortsighted Policy


The efforts by anti-war protestors at UC Santa Cruz to run military recruiters off campus, while successful, portends a dangerous trend for the Left. For a generation, universities around the country have kept the ROTC and recruiters off campus, ostensibly due to the ban on homosexuals serving in the military but more clearly due to an anti-military point of view. After the Supreme Court upheld the Solomon Amendment that gives the federal government the ability to cut off federal funding to colleges who block access to military recruiters, the students themselves have escalated the battle by driving them off campus through intimidation, as they did at the home of the Banana Slugs.

This represents a short-sighted policy by those on the Left, which comes as a piece from their reflexive dislike for all things military (the Left, as opposed to liberals). When they organize to force the military from their campuses, they deny access for their fellow students to the kind of opportunities that can eventually give them access to leadership roles in the armed services. Programs like the ROTC produce officers that often make the military their career, and while the Pentagon prefers academy graduates for promotion to the highest ranks, ROTC-trained officers have also risen to influential leadership positions. They certainly have had brilliant careers in the armed forces over the decades, and their contributions and influence have been remarkable.

The ROTC program allows for the widest possible sampling of the nation's best and brightest, ensuring that the officer corps reflects the nation as a whole, politically, ethnically, and geographically. However, the pressure from the most liberal universities to obstruct their students from entering the military has created an interesting dynamic: only the more conservative or moderate schools now contribute to the ROTC pool. The Solomon Amendment may have corrected that, but as the Banana Slugs have shown, the radicals will not allow it.

What kind of military leadership will this produce? We will have an increasingly conservative officer corps, one whose politics will not accurately reflect the nation's political spectrum. Even as a conservative, this worries me. The natural balance of viewpoints allow for the best decision-making. Moreover, it threatens to politicize the officer corps of the military in a manner which could eventually challenge civilian leadership, especially if a more liberal president gets elected. It sets up a potential conflict that could threaten the Constitution in a manner never seen before in the US. The open slots for officers will get filled, and if the Banana Slugs don't want to help fill them, then candidates will come from somewhere.

Chasing military recruiters off of the most liberal of campuses might give some kooks a thrill, but in the end it is self-defeating. It does not surprise me at all that these leftist radicals don't have the foresight to see this, but it does surprise me that the universities themselves fail to recognize it.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

The President didn't leak squat.

IT'S amazing how the common topics and subjects of discussion three years ago should vanish so quickly from memory.

Yesterday, breathless news reports suggested that President Bush had directed the "leak" of classified information in July 2003. Yet the "leak" in question was from a document called the National Intelligence Estimate, or NIE - and by the time this "leak" occurred, the contents of the NIE as they related to Iraq were almost entirely public.

On Oct. 7, 2002, nine months before Bush's supposed "leak," the administration released an unclassified version of the very same NIE at the urging of Senate Democrats. And in early 2003, reporters hostile to the administration (primarily John Judis and Spencer Ackerman of The New Republic) were being told all sorts of things about the still-classified portions of the NIE.

And this "leak" wasn't a leak in any case. A "leak" is the unauthorized release of government information. The leak of classified information is a crime. But according to Scooter Libby, the former chief of staff to the vice president who gave the information from the NIE to a reporter, he only released it because he was authorized to do so by the president himself.

Constitutionally, the authority to declare documents "classified" resides with the president. So, under the terms of an executive order first drafted in 1982, he can declassify a document merely by declaring it unclassified.

The language of the executive order reads as follows: "Information shall be declassified or downgraded by the official who authorized the original classification, if that official is still serving in the same position . . . [or] a supervisory official." In the executive branch, the president is the ultimate "supervisory official."

We have found out about the president's decision to declassify information from the 2002 NIE because the special prosecutor who has charged Libby with perjury and obstruction of justice revealed elements of Libby's grand-jury testimony in new court papers.

The prosecutor, Patrick Fitzgerald, claims Libby was involved in revealing the identity of CIA operative Valerie Plame as a means of discrediting Wilson's husband, Joseph C. Wilson.

Wilson had written an op-ed in which he said he knew first-hand that the Bush administration had deliberately lied when it claimed Saddam Hussein was trying to buy uranium in Africa. (The CIA had sent Wilson, a one-time ambassador, to the African country of Niger for little more than a week in 2002 to check out the uranium story.)

Wilson was certain he could demonstrate that Libby had told Judith Miller of The New York Times about Valerie Plame's CIA employment at a meeting between the two on July 8, 2003. But Libby told the grand jury, in effect, that he met with Miller that day to give her information to discredit Wilson's op-ed that was far more potent than simply pointing out Wilson probably got the gig because his CIA wife was throwing the diplomatic has-been a bone.

According to Fitzgerald's court filing, Libby "testified that he was specifically authorized in advance of the meeting to disclose the key judgments of the classified NIE to Miller on that occasion because it was thought that the NIE was 'pretty definitive' against what Ambassador Wilson had said and that the vice president thought that it was 'very important' for the key judgments of the NIE to come out. [Libby] further testified that he at first advised the vice president that he could not have this conversation with reporter Miller because of the classified nature of the NIE. [Libby] testified that the vice president later advised him that the president had authorized [Libby] to disclose the relevant portions of the NIE."

Also lost in the mists of recent memory is the reason we're talking about this in the first place. Fitzgerald is involved in this story because he was asked to investigate whether the public exposure of Mrs. Wilson's CIA employment was a crime. For it to be a crime, she had to be a covert CIA operative who had served in that capacity at some point in the five years prior to her exposure - and the person exposing her had to be doing it consciously and with knowledge that she was covert.

Fitzgerald did not indict Libby or anybody else on those grounds. Even so, there's been a lot of harrumphing about the idea that the White House might have sought to discredit Wilson at all - that somehow doing such a thing was manifestly horrible.

But Wilson had claimed that he had inside knowledge that the White House knew Saddam had never sought to purchase uranium and that it went ahead and told a cock-and-bull story anyway - that, in other words, Bush had deliberately lied us into war.

That charge was so explosive that the Bush administration had no choice but to answer it in some fashion. By authorizing the release of some classified material to a reporter, Bush was fighting back against a slander.

And slander it was, no more and no less. The Senate Intelligence Committee specifically said Wilson came back from Niger and offered up some information suggesting Saddam had been pursuing nuclear material in Niger in 1999.

Wilson's appalling lies were revealed in 2004. And yet, here we are, in 2006, fighting the same old battles. Guess this is what happens when you don't win a war quickly enough.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

The Cynthia McKinney Guide to "Racially Motivated" Arrests

As you are undoubtedly aware, Representative Cynthia A. McKinney (D-Black Pantheria) has landed herself in a spot of trouble. Ms. McKinney, an African American who's no stranger to controversy, allegedly assaulted a Capitol police officer who had the nerve to compel her to walk through a metal detector.

After an earlier display of semi-contrition, Ms. McKinney changed her stance and is now as mad as heck about the whole incident. What brought about such an about-face? Well, it appears as if Ms. McKinney may be charged for punching the officer in question. Thus pseudo-remorse has turned to righteous indignation.

But what kind of righteous indignation appealed to Ms. McKinney? You may be surprised to discover, dear reader, that Ms. McKinney decided to play the race card. Gee: We didn't see that one coming.

Carl Hulse's report in The New York Times perfectly encapsulates the congresswoman's Johnny Cochran-esque strategy:

One of her [McKinney's] lawyers, James Myart, said the case typified a pattern of police harassment of black Americans. "My belief is this is no different than that: 'they all look alike.'"

Wow. How mind-numbingly offensive is this? A Capitol police officer scrutinizes Ms. McKinney because she failed to wear a lapel pin that would have identified her as a Member of Congress. For his troubles, he gets punched by Ms. McKinney and accused of racism.

Interestingly, the Times report clearly attempts to portray the odious McKinney in the best possible light: It mentions that Republicans are purportedly interested in this brouhaha because it will "shift attention from a guilty plea to corruption charges Friday by a former senior Republican House aide." Well, gee: Thanks for that impartial observation.

Further, the Gray Lady refers to McKinney as "a lawmaker known for provocative statements." Hmm: We suppose that "provocative statements" is an acceptable synonym for "anti-Semitism." We wonder if they'd let David Duke off the hook so easily.

Given the brazenness of Congresswoman McKinney's trumped up cries of racism, one might reasonably wonder how she would respond to allegations for other crimes. Well, dear reader, wonder no longer. The Official Race-Bating Department here at "The Hatemonger's Quarterly" has come up with a list of potential McKinney responses to future criminal allegations.

So, before you take in another indignant McKinney press conference--obligatorily staged at a traditionally black college and graced with the obligatory presence of Danny Glover--you can save yourself some time by consulting the following list:

The Unofficial Cynthia McKinney Guide to "Racially Motivated" Arrests

1) Jaywalking: A citation for jaywalking would be easy to handle; clearly, it's just a disgraceful attempt to confine a Black woman. Whitey can't handle a Woman of Color running free in the world.

2) Sexual Assault: This charge insidiously harkens back to age-old racist stereotypes about Back sexuality. A Black woman should be passive, think malignant racists.

3) Embezzlement: Racists think that all people should live up to "white standards" of proper fiscal conduct. The disgusting oppressors!

4) Slander: Oh, so the minute a Black woman dares to speak her mind, the white world must slap her with a fine, eh? Obviously, this is another plot to keep a Black lady down.

5) Blackmail: Uh, do we even need to explain?

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Russia, Unmasked

Thanks to the release of the captured Iraqi Intelligence Service documents, we now know that the former superpower and our supposed partner in the war on terror instead has allied itself with our enemies -- namely, the brutal regime of Saddam Hussein. The Pentagon confirmed this evening that intelligence gathered during Operation Iraqi Freedom shows clearly that Russia passed vital intelligence to Saddam before and during the war, including our plans for capturing Baghdad:

Russia had a military intelligence unit operating in Iraq up through the 2003 U.S. invasion and fall of Baghdad, a Russian analyst said Friday as the Pentagon reported Moscow fed Saddam Hussein's government with intelligence on the American military.

Iraqi documents released as part of the Pentagon report asserted that the Russians relayed information to Saddam through their ambassador in Baghdad during the opening days of the war in late March and early April 2003, including a crucial time before the ground assault on Baghdad.

Pavel Felgenhauer, a respected independent Moscow-based military analyst, told The Associated Press the report was "quite plausible."

He said a unit affiliated with the Defense Ministry's Main Intelligence Department, known by its abbreviation GRU, was actively working in Iraq at the time of the U.S. invasion. The unit apparently was shut down after the fall of Baghdad.

This betrayal carries some consequences, both for the US-Russian relationship and our current negotiations over the Iranian nuclear program. Moscow deliberately gave Saddam information that, in the hands of a competent military leader, would have resulted in the deaths of many American soldiers and Marines. Vladimir Putin has strong ties to the Russian intelligence community, so this can't be dismissed as a rogue operation, especially given the high profile of the Iraqi situation and the involvement of Putin's diplomatic corps.

Putin allied himself with Saddam and against the US, presumably to protect its commercial interests. However, one cannot discount the motivation Putin has for re-establishing Russia as a power base in the post-Soviet world. He has played at restarting the Great Game for the last several years in Southwest Asia, trying to gain the upper hand over the Anglosphere in the oil-producing regions.

And that brings us to Iran. After finding out that Putin has a habit of supplying tyrannical enemies of the Western nations with military intelligence to use against us, the last country we should trust with Iran's nuclear program is Russia. We can also kiss off the UN; as long as Russia has its veto, that route will lead nowhere. Russia has revealed itself to be a major part of the problem in the Middle East, and we should stop pretending that they are part of the solution.

At least now we know why the CIA and John Negroponte wanted these documents to remain sealed.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Church Sign Smackdown!


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Helen in full makeup Posted by Picasa

Helen Thomas

The Great Dane of the Washington press corps, has been the voice of honest journalism for over 175 years, and a thorn in side of both Batman and Commissioner Gordon. Her tough, take-no-prisoners style of questioning has often been mistaken for thinly disguised partisan attacks with question marks at the end of them, but she has inspired generations of progressive journalists with her dauntless courage in the face of a fascist administration, and the throes of a crippling mental illness. Since she was diagnosed with severe senile dementia in 1971, she has been unafraid to broach the questions more rational and sane reporters wouldn’t dare to. It’s a miracle she can even remember who she is, let alone find her way to the White House for one of Bush’s Lie Sessions, and she deserves his respect. If the Shrub won’t confess his crimes against humanity, bring our troops home from Iraq, legalize marijuana and step down for the good of America, then he should at least do it for her.

M

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Deficit Demagogues

The New York Times seems to have misrepresented the facts in an editorial taking Senate Republicans to task over budget deficits.

Whether this was simply the result of carelessness, or a purposeful misrepresentation is hard to say. Whatever the case, the editorial paints a distorted picture.

Says the Times:

Republicans want voters to believe that the deficit is the result of spending increases alone — not tax cuts. That's false. The swing from a $236 billion budget surplus in 2000 to a $371 billion deficit today is a huge deterioration in the nation's fiscal balance, equal to 5.3 percent of the economy. Of that, fully 62 percent is due to lower tax revenues.

There are two major problems with this analysis.

First, the Times falsely conflates lower tax revenues in FY 2001 with the Bush tax cuts, neglecting the fact that Bush's tax cuts weren't even implemented until calendar year 2002, and also chooses to ignore the fact that other elements having a greater impact on the federal budget's receipts were at play during those two fiscal years.

The period the Times cites includes two budgets under President Clinton (FY 2000 and FY 2001). And as we all know, two major events with financial ramifications occurred in calendar years 2000 and 2001, before the Bush tax cuts were even implemented. One was the bursting of the stock market bubble in 2000 and the other was the 9/11 attack the following year.

In 2000 the stock market bubble burst, which adversely affected the revenue the federal government derived from capital gains taxes. This can be seen in the reduction of the surplus between 2000 and 2001. According to data in the federal budget, the surplus shrank from $236 billion in FY 2000, to $128 billion in FY 2001, or more than $100 billion.

(The scope of the stock market bubble, and its impact on the budget surpluses in the last four years of the Clinton Administration is not to be underestimated. In 1996, the total stock market capitalization in the US was about $4.5 trillion; by 2000, the total stock market capitalization in the US was over $14 trillion. This more than tripling of stock prices in four years was accompanied by growth in earnings of only about 70%. This separation between stock price growth and earnings growth is the definition of a stock market bubble. The $ value of the bubble can be placed in the neighborhood of $5 trillion. If half of those stock gains were realized, about $500 billion in capital gains taxes would have flowed into the US treasury between 1997-2001 -- as a direct result of the stock market bubble and nothing else. This flow does not represent a recurring income stream over time.)

The next year the 9/11 attacks occurred, which cost the economy about $1 trillion.

A large result of these two events was a budget deficit of $158 billion in FY 2002. That represents a two-year swing from surplus to deficit of about $390 billion. The first Bush tax cut went into effect in 2002, with an estimated worth of around $75 billion.

Claiming the 2002 Bush tax cut is responsible for the two-year swing between 2000-2002 is pure hogwash.

Further, after FY 2002 the Times doesn't account for the cost of the Iraq war, which is somewhere around $80-100 billion per year since FY 2003, nor does it account for other defense spending increases. Nor does it account for the across-the-board spending increases in areas like education, Medicare and Medicaid, or homeland security.

(The deficit in FY 2003 was $377 billion; in FY 2004 it was $412 billion; in FY 2005, it was $318 billion.)

How the Times can seriously reconcile these facts with what was written in the editorial is a mystery, known perhaps only to Gail Collins and Paul Krugman.

WHERE ARE THE HEADLINES?

With George Bush's approval ratings at record lows, the media and the Democrats are piling on over the perceived lack of success in Iraq. But the one story they are completely ignoring is that the economy is on fire. By every measure, were are in the middle of an economic boom. The stock market...the housing market...and now the employment market are all booming.

Just how good are things? According to a report issued yesterday by an employment consulting firm, college graduates are facing the best job market since 2001. The CEO of the firm who wrote the report says that were are approaching full employment. In fact, in some industries, there are shortages. Employers are expecting to hire 14.5% more new college graduates this year.

The overall unemployment rate is at 4.8%. That's very low. If a Democratic administration were in power, we would be hearing and seeing stories about how we've never had it so good. But as it stands, with a Republican in the White House, all of that is swept under the rug. Instead, all we hear about is Iraq.

Just another day at the office for the biased liberal media.