Thursday, April 24, 2008


Future President and proud coal miner's daughter, Hillary Clinton, proved the pundits wrong Tuesday and won her home state of Pennsylvania by a record landslide. Now it's off to a certain victory in her home state of North Carolina, where Senator Clinton spent a good part of her youth working on her family's tobacco farm.

Yes, Hillary and tobacky go waaaay backy. She planted it, grew it, picked it, rolled it, smoked it, chewed it, taxed it and sued it all while under heavy sniper fire. An avid smoker, Hillary will be campaigning heavily across the Tar Heel State for the next two weeks while puffing on filterless Camels from inside her iron lung. She is virtually guaranteed a win both there and in her home state of Indiana, where Hoosier Hillary grew up racing Formula One cars under heavy sniper fire.

It's all over for Obama. With his 10 point loss on Tuesday, it's obvious that he's peaked and his pointless campaign is finally on the decline. His snotty remarks about Pennsylvanian rednecks stubbornly clinging to their guns and their Bibles, while 100% true, proved to working class voters that he isn't the unifying icon of the common man he claims to be, but rather an elitist snob. And while democrats adore an elitist snob, the one thing we simply won't tolerate is a phony.

Go Hillary!!!