Friday, September 05, 2008

Satire Alert--Just for you Loretta

Poor Repuglikkkans think they have a dream ticket on their hands, but startling revelations are now coming to light that will put the final nail in the coffin of John McSame's illegal and immoral candidacy: Sarah Palin has cooties.

Apparently, McSame didn't thoroughly vett his darling little bimbot before choosing her for his running mate. Then again, the senile old man doesn't know how many houses he can he be expected to know whether or not his own Veep has cooties? He'll probably deny she even has cooties or try to bury the truth. But the folks over at Daily Kos and the Democratic Underground have it on good authority that Sarah Palin does indeed have Cooties, and that her daughter is a slut (and not even the good kind of slut - she's keeping her baby). But more importantly, Sarah Palin has Cooties.

Can working families who are facing mortgage foreclosures, unemployment, and skyrocketing gas prices thanks to Bush's failed economic policies really afford putting someone with Cooties a mere heartbeat away from the presidency? And how exactly can a Cootie-sufferer find the time to perform her duties as Vice President while raising five kids, one of whom is a slut? Perhaps Palin should just go back to Alaska and concentrate on being a Mom and finding a cure for those Cooties of hers.

No one is really sure how Cooties are transmitted, but the general consensus is that you get them by being a pro-life, pro-drilling, Christian Conservative member of the NRA...and by kissing *YUCK!* boys. Any Hillary supporters or Evangelical Christians who do not want Cooties would be advised to refrain from voting for McSame/Palin this November.