Saturday, September 20, 2008

Sandra Bernhard--Stop a clock ugly on every level

Just when you think things couldn't get any uglier, along comes Sandra Bernhard, who's ugly in her sleep.

Following the lead of Chevy Chase, Lindsey Lohan, and something called Margaret Cho, Sandra has attacked Sarah Palin - warning that if the governor were to come to New York, she'd be raped by "big black brothers."

Yep, that's not all (Paging Al Sharpton).

But what you're really seeing, once again, is the amazing effect Palin has on the fragile minds of the C-list celebrity. It's as though Palin's success is a dog whistle that only unhappy has-beens like Sandra can hear. And it unhinges them completely. It would be funny if the responses were funny. But they're not. They're just vicious.

So where, again, does this hatred come from? A lot of it, simply, is envy. Perhaps Sandra realizes, sadly, that if we were to poll a group of rapists, they'd prefer Palin over her. But then again, they'd probably prefer a donkey, a blowfish, or maybe even a small discarded sponge dipped in lye. It's why she only does one-woman shows. No one else can stand to be near her.

Of course, Sandra's words are just another example of the rich intolerance only the tolerant left can muster. For more of it, check out how reporters are handling Palin's hacked emails. The media thinks the real story is about her use of a private email account - as opposed to her actual privacy being invaded. This cowardly garbage, mind you, comes from the same folks who decry Bush's imaginary infringements on our own personal liberties.

But here's the real hypocrisy: all of these media whores have private email accounts separate from work - which helps them jump from job to job. I mean, do you actually think the wussy bloggers who exposed Palin's emails don't have a private account that they use to apply for entry level jobs at Vanity Fair? Private email is as common at work as stealing Post-it notes.

Finally, if Obama's email had been hacked instead, and something embarrassing had been found, imagine the media hellfire that would have been unleashed. Heads would roll and Republicans would be gang-raped.

I don't know... maybe all this hate is what Obama needs to get elected. And if it works, Sandra... then Palin won't be vice-president.

But you'll still be ugly.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.