Thursday, November 15, 2007

Love lesson learned

The strangest story this week? A Florida woman made an odd discovery when she found her boyfriend stuck in her house's cat door. The girlfriend of Charles Tucker had kicked him out of her home after a fight, but he tried to come back in...through the cat door - where he got stuck and died. Here's more proof, I guess, that size matters.

Police are awaiting autopsy results, but I can already tell you what caused his death: true love. Men often do grand and incredibly stupid things to win someone back. Why, I remember as a younger man trying to impress a young lass by building a giant heart on a hillside, so she could see it from her house. I probably should have reconsidered the choice of material - but all the children were returned safely to their homes.

And that brings me to this final point: Before you ever make a big overture in the name of love, ask yourself, "if I were to die in the middle of this, how would the picture look?" I'm pretty sure this man never intended to be found half in, and half out, of his lover's cat door. He should have just moved on. Better to have loved and lost than to die wishing you were a pussy.