Sunday, August 06, 2006


John Kerry Rally Packed with GOP Stooges


The presidential elections are two years away and the right-wing fascists are already up to their usual dirty tricks. At a rally before a throng of loyal Iowa supporters yesterday, Senator John Kerry was surprised to find the audience packed with GOP stooges. As he delivered his nuanced oratory, members of the enormous crowd would spontaneously nod off, snore, break wind, or keel over in a blatant attempt to disrupt his speech. Numerous others mumbled something about Wheel of Fortune and wandered away, leaving a handful of empty chairs to create the false illusion of an embarassingly low turnout. Another obvious GOP plant claimed to be a retired Vietnam Veteran, and complained of severe back pains where he had been “stabbed repeatedly by a fellow soldier in a fashion reminiscent of Jingus Khan”.

“And I didn’t get no Purple Heart for it neither!” he cackled as event organizers escorted him from the premises.

An unfazed Senator Kerry dismissed the heckler with a wave of his hand.

“That’s how these people work,” he told the remaining three supporters. “They can’t stand any opposition so they barge in uninvited and shout you down. But that's okay. As my Iowan mother used to say: We’ve seen it all before!”

“B4?” wheezed a startled old codger in the front row, a flutter of white cards tumbling from his fingers. “BINGO!!!!”