Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Turkey Blogging

I’ve never been a big fan of holidays. I have always found them to be a genuine pain in the ass. It’s an excuse to stop working on things that need to get done. WE know we still have things to do, however, now that the holidays are upon us the sense of urgency dissolves and what could be done today gets put off until after the holiday. Our collective mood changes from the daily awareness of reality into a false sense of good cheer and tolerance. It annoys me because 1— the cheery attitude is only temporary due to the insane logic of holiday feel good, 2—we assume a demeanor of overt charity fueled by a false sense of security and 3---We say nice things to people we honestly don’t care for. What’s annoying is that we should either do this all the time or stop being a bunch of phony bastards.

So—here I am at the Tampa International Airport “Turkey Blogging”. It is the first major event of the holiday season and the first major bullshit reason to not get anything done other than watch football and eat. What is a) depressing b) infuriating and c)typical is that I got to the airport two and a half hours prior to departure time and the god-damned airport is less populated than on any given business day. With all the hype about this being the heaviest travel day of the year I got though security in less than 10 minutes when it would take me 20 or more on a normal business trip during the work week. I even took a picture to prove it. The bottom line is that I now have to sit here watching a bunch of kids run around sans their ADD medication while their parents pretend that they’re cute from being a real loud and royal pain in the ass.

Dan Rather resigned---Good! It’s about time. First he is a dishonest prick. Second he’s a fool because he lies to himself. He actually believes he is NOT biased. This from a guy who tried to bag the president with phony documents after he gave a kissy face interview to Saddam Huinsane. This from a guy who publicly gave the Clinton’s an on-air blow job and ambushed Bush 41. He should have been on the payroll of the DNC and not CBS.

Rather has been losing ratings for 10 years and his mind for 20. This is a guy that I always thought would come screaming out of an elevator, naked as a Jay Bird, wielding a fire axe screaming that his brain was in a vacuum and we all need to have more courage. The guy was a certifiable whack job. This is an idiot who at age 70 stood out in a hurricane to prove his manhood. Oh Yea---that really gives me a sense that this guy is a great reporter.

The logic test for CBS is why do you fire a producer for breaking news of Arafat’s assumption of room temperature and not fire Dan and Mary for trying to unseat a sitting president with fraudulent evidence from a source that is tarnished? Perhaps this is the reason that Dan was able to have such a long career with CBS. They just flat run a shitty operation and have no ethical compass.

NID—National Intelligence Director:
Ya gotta love the hysterics of the MSM and left wing liberal weenies over the conference committee inability to mollify two House committee chairmen and get a consensus Bill passed. It’s as if not passing a Bill replete with every single recommendation made by the 9/11 commission is somehow not a good Bill. Hogwash! This is another one of those massive pieces of legislation that I’m willing to bet none of them have actually read.

They are hung up on only two issues. The issuance of driver’s license to illegal aliens and direct access to satellite intelligence by those operators on the ground in combat hot zones. Seems to me that they ought to be able to work this out and I’m of the mind that anyone who thinks it’s a good idea for illegals to be able to get valid driver’s licenses are out of their minds and I hope the Bill never passes. You do remember that those fine young Arab terrorists who took out the World Trade Center and 3,000 of our citizens had 61 (that’s right—61) drivers licenses between them. You did remember that---didn’t you? I wonder if the clowns in the conference committee do.

Back to the Thanksgiving trip from hell.
I’m flying Southwest, which is without a doubt the very best run airline in this Nation. Even better, now you can go on-line and download a boarding pass which allows you to be in boarding group “A” which makes you think that you are going to be in the first group that boards. NOT ON THE HOLIDAYS Sparky! On these holiday times you have young couples with lots of little kids that are traveling home or to Grandma’s house and they get to board first. So on this day, even though I am in Group A the plane is half full by the time I get to board. So—I take the very first open aisle seat (row three) and sit next to a very old couple who are at least in their 90’s and obviously got to board early and in front of me—in back of me—and across the asile from me are CHILDREN. Children with colds—children with runny noses---children screeching---children crying---or just spilling their juice all over the place, while Mommy is trying to cope and disappear into her seat.

In spite of all the kids the thing that goes haywire is the old guy next to me. About an hour out of my destination the old guy starts yelling and clutching his chest and stomach. We are in a little turbulence and the seat belt sign is on but this guy is standing straight up and yelling about heartburn. I can’t ignore him and neither can anyone else. Next thing I know he hurls all over the kids in the row in front of us. I immediately head for the rest room to hide and I stay there until we are on final. When I get back to my seat the guy looks like he will die any minute but I try and pretend as if this is normal and sit there looking straight ahead wishing the minutes to fly by so I can get the hell off this plane.

Now that we are on the ground—don’t you know that the people sitting in the front row need a wheel chair and insist on getting off first. So the entire plane has to wait while these elders are carried off the plane and deposited in wheel chairs. I am now of a mood and mind to roll them right off the jet way and on to the tarmac. Finally I’m off the plane and into the terminal, and guess what—I’m beginning to feel the first twinges of “bubonic common cold”. Those little bastards!