So Bill O'Reilly had Jon Stewart on his program last night, and as expected, tempers flared. Roll Tape.

((PAUSE FOR SHOT OF GIRLS PILLOW FIGHTING))

Wow, it looks like the one in the oversized football jersey took a pretty big hit. But if you think things calmed down, you were wrong.

((PAUSE FOR MORE GIRLS PILLOW FIGHTING))

Yep, it was an entertaining spectacle, with Stewart and O'Reilly both scoring legitimate points. However, I take issue with one thing Stewart said.

Sorry, I mean everything.

First, he made a big deal about Fox News laying off President Bush, while now it lays into Obama.This, friends, is nuttier than squirrel squeeze.

While Bush was president, he was trashed by a left wing posse who delighted in military defeat, for it meant their side was winning. To them, "dissent was patriotic," even if it meant dead troops. Fox wasn't ignoring Bush's actions, it was reacting to that - what I would later call the "patriotic terrorist." I witnessed a fully realized anti-American lynch mob, who would rather win an election than a war - and that made me more of a conservative than 9/11, my life at Berkeley, or all those head injuries combined.

Wanna see proof of my point? Ask yourself, where the feverish anti-war movement is, now that Obama is in power?

Lastly, Stewart's got to stop whining about Fox News tilting to the right. The New York Times just ran a piece pointing out the dearth of conservatives in journalism, theater, therapy and academia. You've got a Democratic House, a Democratic Senate, a Democrat for a President, a liberal media, a leftwing Hollywood, a liberal art and music culture - you've got it all. And you're mad Fox News isn't playing ball? What happened to that whole "dissent is patriotic" crap? It seems Fox News only looks right, because everything else is left.

Anyway, I wish I could have said this to Stewart in person. But I'm not allowed near him. You send a tube sock full of bird seed and nude photos, and suddenly they think you're a threat!

Hey---I'm scratchng my head here---WTF?

So a recent article posted on the White House website claims that President Obama's "steady diplomacy" has given America a renewed moral authority.

So what's the recipe for their self-proclaimed success? Obama's clumsy and misguided attempt to close Gitmo. According to Ben Rhodes, deputy national security advisor for strategic communications (nice title), "By prohibiting torture and working to close the prison...we are denying Al-Queda a recruiting tool."

So lets analize this theory for a moment. If Gitmo is a great tool for the bad guys to recruit more bad guys, it means the place must be upsetting enough to turn men toward jihad. Translation: the very idea of it ruins their day. Gitmo represents treating terrorists like enemies, using every tool to extract information from them, and using that info to destroy their cause. So it's not waterboarding that pisses them off, but the fact that we're trying to beat them.

And this upsets them, much in the way Leno pisses off Conan, Nicole Ritchie irked Paris Hilton, or the troubling way in which Hulk Hogan undermined the Ultimate Warrior. But even more so, I think.

To me, it's both naïve and scary that the Administration thinks closing down Gitmo will reduce jihad - as if suddenly terrorists will stop terrorizing once a tool of war is removed. As John Bolton noted, America is, and will always be, the primary recruitment tool for all jihadists - Gitmo or no Gitmo. And if anything, closing Gitmo tells terrorists that their strategy worked - that these murderers can influence our decision-making - which only encourages them to step up their game.

How the Administration can call this Sally Field diplomacy a success is beyond me.

But a lot of things are beyond me. Which is why I own a sponge on a stick.

Terminology is moving back to reality

Excuse me .. but can someone tell me what happened to "man-caused disasters" and our "overseas contingency operation?" Those were the words that The ACORN Administration were going to use to refer to terror and the war on terror. Didn't last all that long, did it? Reality bites - and reality just took a huge hunk out of The Community Organizer's ass.

After much delay, Barack Obama finally made his speech on the crotch bomber and the failure of our intelligence community to stop him from boarding a plane to the United States. If you would like to read the report in its entirety, you can click here. After reading the report, it seems to boil down to this: We had the intelligence, but we got lazy. Or comfortable. Whatever adjective you want to use, the fact is that we had the information but no one put it together.

Actually ... I really think Obama has paid heed to his wakeup call. He's serious about this. Health care is one thing .. but negligently allowing a terrorist attack on our soil would do much more to doom his presidency than would the failure of ObamaCare. He's not yet at the point where he's willing to abandon a lot of the political correctness that goes hand-in-hand with our anti-terrorism efforts (at least not in the open) but hopefully that will come.

Are you upset that no heads rolled yesterday? Yeah .. me too. But in retrospect maybe it is a good idea to concentrate on the mission right now and deal with those not mission-capable down the road. Just bypass them for the time being. My guess is that Napolitano's influence as Homeland Security Director is quite a bit less than it was .. and that she's brushing up her resume as we speak.

You did hear what she said yesterday, didn't you? She said that she was really surprised by the dedication of these Islamic terrorists .. and then she indicated her surprise that they were using individual operatives in their efforts to kill non-believers. Come on now. That guy in the dump truck who cut you off this morning knew this ... and our Homeland Security Director is surprised?

This particular Obama appointment could cost American lives. She needs to go .. as soon as possible.

Merry Christmas World

The Climate change conference is long gone, but with Christmas just around the corner, I figured there had to be a connection. Also, I'm writing this after a holiday party, so I'm drunk.

As President Obama says, let's be clear: that comical Copenhagen conference wasn't about science, it was about wealth transfer. The gist: because of America's "hyper-industrialization," we need to pay off poor countries for all the harm we've caused in the world. That's the real green in the green movement: It's cash, not grass.

What's this have to do with Christmas? Well, I think the world has forgotten that the biggest gift to this planet is America's industry - and it's time to remind them where they would be without it.

1. Whenever a horrible disaster hits, they would be dead. Be it an earthquake, a tsunami or a Madonna tour - we're usually the first and biggest responders - saving the injured, and helping to rebuild. It is because of our tremendous capability to mobilize quickly that makes us a nation of superheroes. It also takes planes, trucks and tractors to do that stuff. Imagine that carbon footprint.

2. If they ever get sick, they would be dead. It's true. While critical cretins like Chavez and Mugabe actually harm their own people, we save millions of strangers' lives. Even that bozo called Bono admits it was George Bush who helped prevent the death of millions of Africans from AIDs. Yeah - I know what our critics will say: it's easy for America to do this stuff. Well, it's even easier not to do it.

3. If their family is hungry, they would be dead. Let's not forget Norman Borlaug, who invented disease resistant wheat, saving hundreds of millions of lives in India and Pakistan. You can only do that if you're of an industrial mind - thinking about people, not polar bears.

4. If they're under the thumb of fascism, they would be dead. We possess the greatest military technology in the world, and we've used it to end horrible wars. Our industry of annihilation gave new life to many countries.

In sum, the very people complaining about America would not be alive, if it weren't for America. Which is why, I say to them: Merry Christmas.

It sure beats a pair of socks.

Facts vs. Hysteria

We, in our present form, have walked the earth for about 120,000 years. During that time there have been 20 sudden global warmings. In most of these sudden warmings the temperatures rose by about 18 degrees over a span of 20 years. Right now the Copenhagen Clowns are freaking out over a rise of 1.5 degrees in 100 years.

There have been about 142 mass extinctions since life began on the earth about 3.8 billion years ago. These mass extinctions were not caused by man. They were caused by nature.

Those goodies came from this column by Howard Bloom, author of "The Genius of the Beast: A Radical Re-Vision of Capitalism" Here's another excerpt for you to ponder:

"What's the real cause of the Earth's norm--a climate that rocks back and forth from steamy tropical heat to icy freeze? A climate that deposits fossilized seashells on mountaintops and makes dry land into seas and swamps?

The Earth is a traveler. Its angle as it sweeps around the sun produces the massive weather flips we call seasons--the dance from summer to winter and back again. But there's more. Our planet has a peculiar wobble--its precession. And that precession produces upheavals in our weather, weather alterations we cycle through every 22,000, 41,000 and 100,000 years. This is called the Milankovich cycle, named for the Serbian engineer and geophysicist who discovered it.

But the wobbles in our trip around the sun are just a start. The sun is a traveler, too. It circles the black hole at the galaxy's core every 226 million years. And it takes its tiny flock of planets with it. That means us. The result?

The journey around the galactic core is fraught with dangers. For example, every 143 million years we pass through a spiral arm of the galaxy, an arm that tosses tsunamis of cosmic rays our way. Those rays produce massive climate change. Then there's the innocent-sounding stuff astronomers call galactic "fluff," massive clouds of cosmic dust lurking in our solar system's path that also cause dramatic climate change.

Meanwhile, the sun itself is going through a cycle from birth to death. As a result of its maturation, good old reliable sol is 43% warmer today than it was when the Earth first gathered itself into a globe of planetesimals 4.5 billion years ago."

Isn't it time for you to start studying this global warming stuff on your own? If there actually is a concerted attack being launched against Capitalism by tired old communists and socialist leading hoards of youngsters with no experience in the real world ... wouldn't you want to know about it?

This is a very dangerous time for our country and for the world. We have a president who is enamored of Karl Marx and communism; a president who is clearly of an anti-Capitalist bent; a president who referred to the private sector as the "enemy" in one of his books .. and that president is over there in Copenhagen at the epicenter of anti-capitalist furor right now trying to hammer out some kind of a deal. A deal to accomplish what? To stop the meanderings of the Earth around the sun? To make the sun stand still in the universe?

We elected an American Idol president who is now being exposed for the inexperienced academic he actually is.

Can I get a Sheesh!

Climate Change You Can Believe In

Every circus needs a clown, but sometimes it takes a clown to tell the truth.

And so we have Hugo Chavez, the pockmarked prince of all things petulant - paying a visit to the Climate Change conference to rousing, delirious applause.

In sum, Chavez is all about ending "imperial dictatorships," and that "capitalism is the road to hell." He says, "Let's fight against capitalism and make it obey us."

He also said he liked to have sex with goats while Sean Penn watched, but I may have gotten that translation wrong.

Anyway, according to the Herald Sun, all of this was greeted with a standing ovation. And Hugo deserves it - for he's exposing this crap fest for what it is: a massive transfer of wealth from the west, to scumbags like him.

But Chavez wasn't the only one to lecture America on how evil we are. There was Zimbabwe President, Robert Mugabe, who noted that as "these capitalist gods of carbon...belch their dangerous emissions," it's "the lesser mortals of the developing sphere" who die. Yeah, we're the murderers. Not Mugabe - who delighted in the torture, starvation and killing of his own people, for years.

This would all be hilarious- if these creeps didn't have our own leaders on their side. Witness secretary of State Hillary Clinton announcing that our country is ready to create an annual $100 billion climate protection fund to help "address the climate change needs of developing countries."

Where will this money come from?

Well, Hillary wouldn't say - but she didn't have to. There's only one place it can come from - you. And that's why the Chavez's and the Mugabe's of the world love climate change hysteria so much. To the world's thugs, thieves and murderers, the US becomes that fat tourist in his favorite vacation hat, jingling his change on a street corner.

Easy pickings.

And--should you not agree with me you're probably bowing to a photo of Mubabe while licking a bobble head Hugo.

What is she thinking?

Hope you didn't miss this. Our Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, has pledged $100 billion dollars A YEAR to "developing nations" to help them fight global warming. That's promising $100 billion a year that we don't have to fight a problem that doesn't exist. Are you comfortable with that? Aren't you glad these people are in charge?

Man doesn't matter one wit....

Isn’t it interesting how narrow the laws of nature are? Water at sea level boils at 212 degrees Fahrenheit, not 210. It freezes at 32 degrees above zero, not at 34. Water that contains 20 percent salt will not freeze until the temperature gets down to 30 degrees below zero. I don’t understand how the water knows when it is time to freeze, but it never makes a mistake. It never forgets, and it is never influenced by anyone’s opinion. Like all other natural laws, it performs right on the nose every time.

Eternal laws of the universe are narrow. They are never repealed. The verdict has been handed out even before the act is committed. The smartest lawyers, the most sympathetic witnesses, or the most powerful judges cannot change the verdict in the slightest degree. The sentence is not softened because of mental or physical incompetence, and there is no time off for good behavior.

Each year our planet makes a 595-million-mile orbit around the sun. It always travels at the rate of 66,600 miles per hour, and it completes its journey in exactly 365 days, 6 hours, 9 minutes, and 9 and 54/100 seconds. The time of the completion of the 595-million-mile journey can be more accurately foretold than your trip from the living room into the dining room.

Electricity is also a little bit on the narrow-minded side. A compass always points to the magnetic north—never to the east, the west, or the south.

The climate also follows a natural law.