Oprah Winfrey is a women enjoying a uniquely American success story.
Uniquely. American.
There is no society in the history of civilization where Oprah's unbelievable success is possible. Where someone with no talent other than sucking up to celebrities, producing awful movies, and making absolutely everything under the sun all about her can become the most wealthy and powerful woman in the world.
And what does she do? What does she say? She goes to Africa AFRICA (!) and proclaims, "I wish I was born here" and proudly states she's a Zulu.
1. Has she ever proudly stated she's an American?
2. Has she ever said she was glad to be born in America?
3. If I called her a Zulu I'd be up on hate crime charges.
4. If she really wishes she were born in Africa, we can do the the next best thing: We'll snip her clitoris, make her a slave, starve her, plague her with AIDS, and then machete her to death in a genocidal rampage.
Because if you were born in The Motherland, you ungrateful *controlling myself here*, you wouldn't be Oprah, you'd be lucky to be a statistic.
And don't worry, after you're gone and nobody notices -- we'll be sure to get some other ungrateful liberals together to blame America for what's happening an ocean away. We'll be sure to blame the country who provides the most aid and food. We'll be sure to blame everybody but, you know, the actual people who live in Africa, for the atrocities of genocide, starvation, and a depraved indifference to AIDS and slavery.
Oh, and anyone nostalgic for those "Owning a Darkie" days need only move to Africa. Because it's only in "The Motherland" the abomination of slavery's still tolerated. Because "The Motherland" is being ravaged by it's own "Mothers" and "Fathers" -- but of course, that's Americas fault.
And Oprah, don't think all of us have forgotten how you whored your way to fame. Some of us still remember that you are the Queen Of Trash TV. No, it wasn't that long ago you were Mrs. Jerry Springer with your own parade of trailer trash and neo-Nazis. And it was only after you spawned the legion of imitators who continue to degrade our culture that you were able to rise above.
You wish you were born in Africa? Well, gee Oprah, that makes two of us.
