Fire all Voters who get their news from the Daley Show

OK ... since there is no Constitutional right to vote in a federal election .. I have an idea. Now I know that this idea is dead in the starting gate, but I like underdogs ... so what the hell, I'll give it to you here.

I was watching a bit on the tube this morning about that Rhode Island government school where the Superintendent fired every single teacher and the administrative staff. Why? Because they were failing ... year after year they were failing to provide even the minimum education to the students. A certain percentage of them were allowed to reapply for their jobs .. but only some. Result: Well, as you can imagine, things are really looking up at this particular school.

It is clear that the voters failed our country in the last election. They failed our country miserably. They voted for a community organizer with no real experience in governance and no experience in the private sector. They voted for someone who had expressed his dislike for capitalism and free enterprise ... declaring the free markets "the enemy." They voted for someone who was eloquent when a teleprompter was present, but bumbling without. They voted for someone who's campaign was based on a one-word focus group tested slogan, not someone with actual ideas. Our country is suffering because of what the idiot voters did in 2008. People are out of work with no real prospect of working in the private sector again. We are amassing unbelievable debt .. debt that could cause a true crisis within about three years. Our voters failed our country just like these teachers failed that Rhode Island school. So ... fire them.

The idea is simple. Let the states and local governments do what they want, but tell the people that insofar as federal elections are concerned, they're fired. They can reapply for their position if they wish to .. but they'll have to pass a test to get their jobs back. They'll have to show a basic understanding of our Constitution and the purposes of the three branches of government. They'll have to know who their representatives in Washington are. In other words, they'll have to show that they're citizens, not just idiots with voter registration cards.

Like I said .. not gonna happen. But we can dream, can't we?

Open Boarders

Just to remind you --- Barack Obama hasn't done one thing since Arizona's new law to solve the problem of Arizona's open border with Mexico. He hasn't done anything since he was elected. He won't do anything this week. He won't do anything next week. Truth is, Obama doesn't want to close the border. The criminal alien invaders will keep pouring in. Remember ... a Pew Research poll showed that 58% of Mexicans believe that Arizona belongs to Mexico anyway. Just keeping you up to speed. How's that hopey-changy thingy working out for you?

The AP is confused and I can clear it up for them.

Okay, here's my favorite headline of the day - no, make that year.

Take a look-see, for yourself

The AP headline reads: "NY car bomb suspect cooperates, but motive mystery."

Yeah it's only a mystery if you're in the media, and really stupid. Everyone else pretty much understands why the terrorist left a fuel bomb in an area filled with families.

He hates us. He hate our country, our culture. He wants you dead.

But the media - an entity full of fragile egos and bubble-encased boobs - just can't see that. In fact, it's kinda awesome how huge and gaping their blind spot toward radical Islamic fundamentalism is. If only there could be other motives for the mayhem, so they'd never having to place blame on anything (except America, of course).

So I thought I'd help them out, and find motives the media could be comfortable with.

So why did Faisal Shahzad try to blow up Time Square?

-Obviously, Global Warming. The increasing temperature forced him to jog at night, and he found the sunlight oppressive. Plus, it made his beard itch.

-Wall Street greed. Faisal had just seen "Capitalism-A Love Story," became enraged, but got lost and ended up in the theater district. Better luck next time.

-Bill Ayers never returned his sweatpants after that weekend in Catalina. Sure, it was a great time, but those sweatpants had sentimental value.

-Lenscrafters was completely out of the Rachal Maddow collection. So he had to settle for a David Shuster knockoff.

-the latest incarnation of "The Lion King" was unoriginal and passionless. Worse, it didn't reflect the damage George Bush did to the world the way "American Idiot" did.

-They're building a Wal-Mart down the road, and their affordable prices deeply offended his "mom and pop" sensibilities.

-Norman Mailer doesn't blog nearly as much on the Huffington Post as he used to.

-The electrolysis didn't work on his pubes.

-The lack of diversity in the workplace is disgusting - well, except for MSNBC. They get a pass because their hearts are in the right place.

-That same sex marriage won't lead to the option of marrying a goat.

- That George Clooney didn't find anyone at the end of "Up in the Air." Although I suppose - he did find himself.

And..

-Those evil tea partiers made of mockery of Islam with their delightful bacon and egg salad sandwiches.

I'll stop there, because it really is the tea partier's fault -for they created the climate of hate that only encouraged Shazhad's actions In fact - I'd say the car bomb was a direct result of the tea partiers, the new Arizona immigration bill, Rush Limbaugh, offshore drilling, and of course: Fox News.

Because all that stuff is evil. Unlike, you know, real evil.

Goldman Sachs

You've heard that name a lot in the news lately, haven't you? Last week the Securities and Exchange Commission charged Goldman Sachs with fraud. Since then people Republicans and Democrats have been trying to use the case to promote their own causes. Democrats cite Goldman Sachs as support for more financial regulation; Republicans cast dark questions about the involvement of some of Obama's folks and are wondering if Obama will return nearly one million in Goldman Sachs campaign contributions. (Why should he?)

So .. what's the deal here? Well, you come to the right place for a simple explanation: A simple-minded person who can cut through the bullshit.

Goldman Sachs sells securities, investments. Some of these investments are for ordinary investors. It doesn't take a lot of investment knowledge to buy stock in Apple. Other investments are for very sophisticated investors only. If you're not in the market you probably don't know that some investments sold by brokerages and securities firms are so complicated, so iffy, so convoluted that the person selling those investments has a legal responsibility to determine that you are a "sophisticated invester" and that you actually have some clue as to what you're doing.

The investments that Goldman Sachs sold which are at issue here are called collateralized debt obligations. In this case these CDOs were investment instruments that were basically backed by mortgages. Starting to see the trouble brewing, aren't you? Mortgage-backed securities haven't exactly been sterling investments for the past few years.

So ... Goldman Sachs is creating some CDOs to sell to investors. To do this Goldman Sachs needs to figure out just which mortgage bonds and other investments will be included in the CDO. To do this Goldman Sachs needed some help. This is where Paulson & Co. comes into the picture.

Introducing John Paulson of Paulson & Company. Now before the real estate mortgage meltdown Paulson wasn't really that big a blotch on most folks radar screens. Paulson, however, did something that most of us did not. He saw the real estate meltdown coming .. and he saw it a long way off. Over the past couple of years, while Americans have been losing their butts in the market, Paulson has been making money hand over fist. Why? Because he went into the market and bet against real estate.

Back to Goldman Sachs. Here they are trying to select the contents of their investment fund, which they will call Abacus 2007-AC1. Goldman Sachs allowed Paulson to help, and here's where it gets interesting. This was a "Synthetic CDO" meaning that they buying party KNOWS there is a short on the other side of the trade. Paulson thinks that securities backed by mortgages are going to tank, and here he is helping Goldman Sachs select the mortgage bonds and instruments that are going to be included in Abacus. Now doesn't it stand to reason that since Paulson is betting against mortgage-backed securities he is going to try to design a CDO for Goldman Sachs that is going to tank in the marketplace? Apparently that's just what he did, and Abacus was a miserable failure. Not only was Paulson paid $15 million by Goldman Sachs to help select the contents of Abacus, but he made --- now get this --- about one billion (with a "B") in profits by selling that sucker short. Goldman Sachs, on the other hand, bet on Abacus to succeed .. and lost about $90 billion.

Here comes the SEC and a lawsuit is filed against Goldman Sachs. Essentially the lawsuit claims that before Goldman Sachs sold this instrument to investors it had the responsibility to tell the investor absolutely every detail as to how this CDO was created, including the involvement of John Paulson. Now keep two things in mind here. One, the CDO is a very sophisticated investment instrument and those to buy CDOs are often just as knowledgeable as the people at Goldman Sachs making the sale. Secondly, at the time Abacus was created Paulson had not achieved fame by betting against mortgage-based investments. Why, then, did Goldman Sachs have to disclose his involvement? It probably wouldn't have meant anything to the investors anyway. Remember - Goldman Sachs thought they had put together a CDO that was going to make some big bucks. That's why Goldman Sachs bet on Abacus, and ended up losing ninety billion. I mean---if you're going to commit fraud don't you think you ought to make ninety billion and not lose ninety billion?

One of the issues here is the odd way the SEC has been acting in this case. Usually when the SEC brings an action against a company there is plenty of warning and an opportunity to reach a settlement as to how to resolve the problem and any fines that might be played. Oddly - and nobody can remember where this has happened before --- the SEC wouldn't even return Goldman Sachs calls in the days leading up to the lawsuit. This is pretty much unprecedented, as is the nature of this particular SEC action. There really is no record of an action like this taken by the SEC before.

So ...what's going on here? Enter Barack Obama and the Democrats. Now that Obama has a vehicle to destroy private health care up and running, it's time to go after Wall Street. Obama's next big goal - one that he wants to accomplish before the November elections - is to place massive new regulations on America's financial institutions. Now I'm not saying that there doesn't need to be some changes made in the rules governing Wall Street, but I am saying that perhaps a man with a clear dislike of capitalism might not be the person to lead this effort.

Let's wrap this up with a simple and easy to understand question. Did the SEC pop this lawsuit on Goldman Sachs last week to bolster Obama's calls for new financial regulations? Was this lawsuit thrown out there to give Obama the talking point he needs to sell his new regulatory scheme? Usually actions like this are settled before a lawsuit is filed, but in this case the SEC wouldn't even return calls from Goldman Sachs. Maybe someone was telling them to get this thing done .. and get it done NOW ... so that Obama can have his talking point for regulatory reform.

Just sayin'

And remember---the people who buy these kinds of derivatives have herds of lawyers and investment counselors who do due diligence on these kinds of investments. So---who's to blame and could there have been any fraud? Don't think so.

Dickson's prediction--it's all stage craft by the administration and nothing will come of it. It's the same as a fart in the swimming pool. there will be a big bubble, it will rise to the top, then there will be a foul odor and then ---Nothing.

Being pissed off is a RIGHT

Just watched all the Sunday talking head shows and had laugh out loud moments with Howie Kurtz and his line up of left wing dolts AKA Mainstream media. So as the anger surrounding the health care bill escalates, many in the media are reporting how the anger surrounding the health care bill is escalating!

Now I've been down this road so many times I could navigate it blindfolded and covered in peanut butter.

It goes like this: for the media, anger is only okay if its targets meet their stereotypical, romanticized criteria. Meaning: the corporation, the conservative, profit or the daddy who never loved them.

Here's a list of people doing angry things the media is okay with:

-People calling Bush a Nazi
-Students and non students rioting on college campuses
-Animal rights freaks dousing rich folks with paint
-Actors wishing average folks would get rectal cancer
-Bureaucrats labeling military vets as potential violent right wing extremists
-Radical environmentalists advocating violence against loggers
-Pranksters throwing pies at conservative commentators (you know, somehow they never pie Michael Moore, which makes him sad; he likes pie)

But this health care bill anger is different from all that - not just because it's right, but because it involves Obama. And being angry at Obama is like being mad at Santa Claus. How can you be mad at Santa, when he brings us so many gifts?

And so, this anger is scary! It's a mark of incivility! It's deadly!

But you have a right to be angry. Unlike the entitlements we're saddled with until death, being angry is free and actually works! Shit--it's deficit neutral. But we need to define why we're angry - instead of letting our adversaries do it for us.

We are angry not because we lost, but that we lost to losers. I'm not talking about Obama, or the Dems. They're winners, sadly. I'm talking about progressivism. The reason why I'm angry, my friends are angry, and my imaginary unicorn Captain Sparkles is angry - is because the greatest, most winningest country in the history of the world, just embraced the loser's doctrine.

For two hundred plus years we've kicked ass, and we're now choosing the belief system of the idiots whose asses we've kicked and some we've saved.

So that's why I'm angry. And why you're angry too.

And when jackasses try to take away your right to be angry - by calling it racist or extremist - tell them they're the racists. Because it's those tools who assume that anger can only be about race. And if they disagree with you, then clearly they're not just racists - but probably homophobic cannibals, too.

Obama just got us a pony......

So what did we learn this weekend? That the health care reform bill is such a big idea that it doesn't matter what's in it. It's such a big idea, in fact, that that's all those dopes voted for - the idea. Because they really don't know what's in the bill anyway. They couldn't have - it's 2,700 pages. This was, essentially, a "yes" vote on Shangri-la.

The argument was never about health care. It was about whether America can survive when strapped with another massive entitlement program, one in which we've been deceived about cost. Essentially Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama (Obamalosi, for short) looked at our crumbling economy, weighed down by three massive entitlement programs (Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid), and thought: let's have a fourth. Let's go all in on unfunded entitlements.

The worst part? The lies. Seriously: How can anyone say this is going to save money?

Check out the estimated cost of Medicare. 12 billion. Now check out its actual cost. 110 billion. They were only off by 900 percent.

Welcome to Greece, people. Jump in, the water's warm.

Let's look at all arguments for health care. First they tried to sell the thing on moral grounds. Didn't work. Then on efficiency grounds. Still didn't work. Then they switched to saving money. Thirty million new people to insure, and somehow they convinced themselves it'll save us money! Using the same logic, we should insure Canada and Mexico too! We'd really be saving cash then!

Look - universal health care is a beautiful idea. But so is getting a pony for your fifth birthday.

When daddy argues with little Susie over that pony, she doesn't care about how they're going to afford the pony. She doesn't care if they have to mortgage the house to pay for the pony. She just wants that pony.

But see, daddy is supposed to know that. And daddy isn't supposed to actually buy the pony! And, most of all, he isn't supposed to tell everyone in earshot that it's cheaper having that pony - than having a car.

But he just did. And the media, and the Dems - fell in line like a classroom of five year old girls.

They didn't just buy the pony. They just bought the whole damn farm.

Fallout

I am worried.

I am worried that Obamacare is such an assault on the fundamental notion of American-ness, and was passed in such a repulsive manner, that the people will have no recourse except violence.

If I were a Democrat elected official, I would avoid all public forums from now until the November elections. If you thought last summer’s townhalls were brutal, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

Obamacare turns every American into a slave the moment he is born. Every American will be forced to purchase health insurance that meets government standards. If he does not buy it, the IRS will chase him down. If he still refuses to comply, he will go to jail.

Can the government tell you to jog 30 minutes every day? If not, then how can it ask you to spend 10% of your hard-earned money on a specific product, under threat of imprisonment?

And look at how it passed! Naked appeals were made that it must be passed to save Obama’s presidency and/or the Democrat party. All in the open, elected members of Congress used naked political calculus to decide if they would be “allowed” to vote against the bill.

This is the sort of disdain for the people that leads to revolutions.

Some notion of justice will be restored when Republicans take back Congress in November. But I worry about what will happen between now and then.

Derivative Market Instruments--Dumbed Down so even Joe Biden can understand

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit. She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar. To solve this problem, she comes up with new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around about Heidi's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in Detroit .

By providing her customers' freedom from immediate payment demands, Heidi gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages. Consequently, Heidi's gross sales volume increases massively. A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions, and transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then bundled and traded on international security markets. Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb, and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.

One day, even though the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar. He so informs Heidi.

Heidi then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but being unemployed alcoholics they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Since, Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations she is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes and the eleven employees lose their jobs.

Overnight, DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS drop in price by 90%. The collapsed bond asset value destroys the banks liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.

The suppliers of Heidi's bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the various BOND securities. They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds. Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.

Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multi-billion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from their cronies in Government. The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who have never been in Heidi's bar.

Now, do you understand how Obama's Government Works?

Arrogant American

So an advertising firm out of Rolling Meadows posted an ad looking for a technical writer -one who mustn't be an "arrogant American."

Because the job would deal with Chinese businesses, Viva USA - a placement firm - wanted to make sure they attracted applicants who were "respectful."

Naturally, once the news got out, the ad was taken town, with the firm blaming the client for the actual wording. They didn't read the ad they posted, they seem to be saying - which I doubt.

Now, it's not really a big deal, unless you consider how it might have turned out if Yanks weren't the target.

Imagine if the ad had read:

"Please, no drunk Brits need apply - or if you do, don't vomit in our plants."

Or "If you're violently Scottish, please refrain from knifing anyone in the parking lot unless they really deserve it."

Or, "Sneaky Russians are welcome, but don't poison the boss with dioxene until you're absolutely sure he's a spy."

(Notice how I skipped the really offensive stereotypes!)

Bottom line: that "arrogant" wording in the ad got through because everyone who saw it agreed with it.

And let's face it: we are arrogant Americans.

And by arrogant, I really mean successful.

See, the world views our success as arrogance - because we're really good at doing good. And to most of the globe, that's bad. We now live in a world where competing is unseemly - unless of course, you're trying to out-recycle a neighbor.

But if you're trying to make money, invent stuff, save thousands of lives from natural disasters or eliminate maniac dictators - you're kind of a jerk.

I wonder where they got an idea like that.

Oh yeah.

Probably America. Can you say Barack Obama?

It seems were even the best at anti-Americanism, too.

And if you disagree with me, you're probably a racist homophobe with a yellow lab who hates cats.

So Bill O'Reilly had Jon Stewart on his program last night, and as expected, tempers flared. Roll Tape.

((PAUSE FOR SHOT OF GIRLS PILLOW FIGHTING))

Wow, it looks like the one in the oversized football jersey took a pretty big hit. But if you think things calmed down, you were wrong.

((PAUSE FOR MORE GIRLS PILLOW FIGHTING))

Yep, it was an entertaining spectacle, with Stewart and O'Reilly both scoring legitimate points. However, I take issue with one thing Stewart said.

Sorry, I mean everything.

First, he made a big deal about Fox News laying off President Bush, while now it lays into Obama.This, friends, is nuttier than squirrel squeeze.

While Bush was president, he was trashed by a left wing posse who delighted in military defeat, for it meant their side was winning. To them, "dissent was patriotic," even if it meant dead troops. Fox wasn't ignoring Bush's actions, it was reacting to that - what I would later call the "patriotic terrorist." I witnessed a fully realized anti-American lynch mob, who would rather win an election than a war - and that made me more of a conservative than 9/11, my life at Berkeley, or all those head injuries combined.

Wanna see proof of my point? Ask yourself, where the feverish anti-war movement is, now that Obama is in power?

Lastly, Stewart's got to stop whining about Fox News tilting to the right. The New York Times just ran a piece pointing out the dearth of conservatives in journalism, theater, therapy and academia. You've got a Democratic House, a Democratic Senate, a Democrat for a President, a liberal media, a leftwing Hollywood, a liberal art and music culture - you've got it all. And you're mad Fox News isn't playing ball? What happened to that whole "dissent is patriotic" crap? It seems Fox News only looks right, because everything else is left.

Anyway, I wish I could have said this to Stewart in person. But I'm not allowed near him. You send a tube sock full of bird seed and nude photos, and suddenly they think you're a threat!

Hey---I'm scratchng my head here---WTF?

So a recent article posted on the White House website claims that President Obama's "steady diplomacy" has given America a renewed moral authority.

So what's the recipe for their self-proclaimed success? Obama's clumsy and misguided attempt to close Gitmo. According to Ben Rhodes, deputy national security advisor for strategic communications (nice title), "By prohibiting torture and working to close the prison...we are denying Al-Queda a recruiting tool."

So lets analize this theory for a moment. If Gitmo is a great tool for the bad guys to recruit more bad guys, it means the place must be upsetting enough to turn men toward jihad. Translation: the very idea of it ruins their day. Gitmo represents treating terrorists like enemies, using every tool to extract information from them, and using that info to destroy their cause. So it's not waterboarding that pisses them off, but the fact that we're trying to beat them.

And this upsets them, much in the way Leno pisses off Conan, Nicole Ritchie irked Paris Hilton, or the troubling way in which Hulk Hogan undermined the Ultimate Warrior. But even more so, I think.

To me, it's both naïve and scary that the Administration thinks closing down Gitmo will reduce jihad - as if suddenly terrorists will stop terrorizing once a tool of war is removed. As John Bolton noted, America is, and will always be, the primary recruitment tool for all jihadists - Gitmo or no Gitmo. And if anything, closing Gitmo tells terrorists that their strategy worked - that these murderers can influence our decision-making - which only encourages them to step up their game.

How the Administration can call this Sally Field diplomacy a success is beyond me.

But a lot of things are beyond me. Which is why I own a sponge on a stick.

Terminology is moving back to reality

Excuse me .. but can someone tell me what happened to "man-caused disasters" and our "overseas contingency operation?" Those were the words that The ACORN Administration were going to use to refer to terror and the war on terror. Didn't last all that long, did it? Reality bites - and reality just took a huge hunk out of The Community Organizer's ass.

After much delay, Barack Obama finally made his speech on the crotch bomber and the failure of our intelligence community to stop him from boarding a plane to the United States. If you would like to read the report in its entirety, you can click here. After reading the report, it seems to boil down to this: We had the intelligence, but we got lazy. Or comfortable. Whatever adjective you want to use, the fact is that we had the information but no one put it together.

Actually ... I really think Obama has paid heed to his wakeup call. He's serious about this. Health care is one thing .. but negligently allowing a terrorist attack on our soil would do much more to doom his presidency than would the failure of ObamaCare. He's not yet at the point where he's willing to abandon a lot of the political correctness that goes hand-in-hand with our anti-terrorism efforts (at least not in the open) but hopefully that will come.

Are you upset that no heads rolled yesterday? Yeah .. me too. But in retrospect maybe it is a good idea to concentrate on the mission right now and deal with those not mission-capable down the road. Just bypass them for the time being. My guess is that Napolitano's influence as Homeland Security Director is quite a bit less than it was .. and that she's brushing up her resume as we speak.

You did hear what she said yesterday, didn't you? She said that she was really surprised by the dedication of these Islamic terrorists .. and then she indicated her surprise that they were using individual operatives in their efforts to kill non-believers. Come on now. That guy in the dump truck who cut you off this morning knew this ... and our Homeland Security Director is surprised?

This particular Obama appointment could cost American lives. She needs to go .. as soon as possible.

Merry Christmas World

The Climate change conference is long gone, but with Christmas just around the corner, I figured there had to be a connection. Also, I'm writing this after a holiday party, so I'm drunk.

As President Obama says, let's be clear: that comical Copenhagen conference wasn't about science, it was about wealth transfer. The gist: because of America's "hyper-industrialization," we need to pay off poor countries for all the harm we've caused in the world. That's the real green in the green movement: It's cash, not grass.

What's this have to do with Christmas? Well, I think the world has forgotten that the biggest gift to this planet is America's industry - and it's time to remind them where they would be without it.

1. Whenever a horrible disaster hits, they would be dead. Be it an earthquake, a tsunami or a Madonna tour - we're usually the first and biggest responders - saving the injured, and helping to rebuild. It is because of our tremendous capability to mobilize quickly that makes us a nation of superheroes. It also takes planes, trucks and tractors to do that stuff. Imagine that carbon footprint.

2. If they ever get sick, they would be dead. It's true. While critical cretins like Chavez and Mugabe actually harm their own people, we save millions of strangers' lives. Even that bozo called Bono admits it was George Bush who helped prevent the death of millions of Africans from AIDs. Yeah - I know what our critics will say: it's easy for America to do this stuff. Well, it's even easier not to do it.

3. If their family is hungry, they would be dead. Let's not forget Norman Borlaug, who invented disease resistant wheat, saving hundreds of millions of lives in India and Pakistan. You can only do that if you're of an industrial mind - thinking about people, not polar bears.

4. If they're under the thumb of fascism, they would be dead. We possess the greatest military technology in the world, and we've used it to end horrible wars. Our industry of annihilation gave new life to many countries.

In sum, the very people complaining about America would not be alive, if it weren't for America. Which is why, I say to them: Merry Christmas.

It sure beats a pair of socks.

Facts vs. Hysteria

We, in our present form, have walked the earth for about 120,000 years. During that time there have been 20 sudden global warmings. In most of these sudden warmings the temperatures rose by about 18 degrees over a span of 20 years. Right now the Copenhagen Clowns are freaking out over a rise of 1.5 degrees in 100 years.

There have been about 142 mass extinctions since life began on the earth about 3.8 billion years ago. These mass extinctions were not caused by man. They were caused by nature.

Those goodies came from this column by Howard Bloom, author of "The Genius of the Beast: A Radical Re-Vision of Capitalism" Here's another excerpt for you to ponder:

"What's the real cause of the Earth's norm--a climate that rocks back and forth from steamy tropical heat to icy freeze? A climate that deposits fossilized seashells on mountaintops and makes dry land into seas and swamps?

The Earth is a traveler. Its angle as it sweeps around the sun produces the massive weather flips we call seasons--the dance from summer to winter and back again. But there's more. Our planet has a peculiar wobble--its precession. And that precession produces upheavals in our weather, weather alterations we cycle through every 22,000, 41,000 and 100,000 years. This is called the Milankovich cycle, named for the Serbian engineer and geophysicist who discovered it.

But the wobbles in our trip around the sun are just a start. The sun is a traveler, too. It circles the black hole at the galaxy's core every 226 million years. And it takes its tiny flock of planets with it. That means us. The result?

The journey around the galactic core is fraught with dangers. For example, every 143 million years we pass through a spiral arm of the galaxy, an arm that tosses tsunamis of cosmic rays our way. Those rays produce massive climate change. Then there's the innocent-sounding stuff astronomers call galactic "fluff," massive clouds of cosmic dust lurking in our solar system's path that also cause dramatic climate change.

Meanwhile, the sun itself is going through a cycle from birth to death. As a result of its maturation, good old reliable sol is 43% warmer today than it was when the Earth first gathered itself into a globe of planetesimals 4.5 billion years ago."

Isn't it time for you to start studying this global warming stuff on your own? If there actually is a concerted attack being launched against Capitalism by tired old communists and socialist leading hoards of youngsters with no experience in the real world ... wouldn't you want to know about it?

This is a very dangerous time for our country and for the world. We have a president who is enamored of Karl Marx and communism; a president who is clearly of an anti-Capitalist bent; a president who referred to the private sector as the "enemy" in one of his books .. and that president is over there in Copenhagen at the epicenter of anti-capitalist furor right now trying to hammer out some kind of a deal. A deal to accomplish what? To stop the meanderings of the Earth around the sun? To make the sun stand still in the universe?

We elected an American Idol president who is now being exposed for the inexperienced academic he actually is.

Can I get a Sheesh!

Climate Change You Can Believe In

Every circus needs a clown, but sometimes it takes a clown to tell the truth.

And so we have Hugo Chavez, the pockmarked prince of all things petulant - paying a visit to the Climate Change conference to rousing, delirious applause.

In sum, Chavez is all about ending "imperial dictatorships," and that "capitalism is the road to hell." He says, "Let's fight against capitalism and make it obey us."

He also said he liked to have sex with goats while Sean Penn watched, but I may have gotten that translation wrong.

Anyway, according to the Herald Sun, all of this was greeted with a standing ovation. And Hugo deserves it - for he's exposing this crap fest for what it is: a massive transfer of wealth from the west, to scumbags like him.

But Chavez wasn't the only one to lecture America on how evil we are. There was Zimbabwe President, Robert Mugabe, who noted that as "these capitalist gods of carbon...belch their dangerous emissions," it's "the lesser mortals of the developing sphere" who die. Yeah, we're the murderers. Not Mugabe - who delighted in the torture, starvation and killing of his own people, for years.

This would all be hilarious- if these creeps didn't have our own leaders on their side. Witness secretary of State Hillary Clinton announcing that our country is ready to create an annual $100 billion climate protection fund to help "address the climate change needs of developing countries."

Where will this money come from?

Well, Hillary wouldn't say - but she didn't have to. There's only one place it can come from - you. And that's why the Chavez's and the Mugabe's of the world love climate change hysteria so much. To the world's thugs, thieves and murderers, the US becomes that fat tourist in his favorite vacation hat, jingling his change on a street corner.

Easy pickings.

And--should you not agree with me you're probably bowing to a photo of Mubabe while licking a bobble head Hugo.

What is she thinking?

Hope you didn't miss this. Our Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, has pledged $100 billion dollars A YEAR to "developing nations" to help them fight global warming. That's promising $100 billion a year that we don't have to fight a problem that doesn't exist. Are you comfortable with that? Aren't you glad these people are in charge?

Man doesn't matter one wit....

Isn’t it interesting how narrow the laws of nature are? Water at sea level boils at 212 degrees Fahrenheit, not 210. It freezes at 32 degrees above zero, not at 34. Water that contains 20 percent salt will not freeze until the temperature gets down to 30 degrees below zero. I don’t understand how the water knows when it is time to freeze, but it never makes a mistake. It never forgets, and it is never influenced by anyone’s opinion. Like all other natural laws, it performs right on the nose every time.

Eternal laws of the universe are narrow. They are never repealed. The verdict has been handed out even before the act is committed. The smartest lawyers, the most sympathetic witnesses, or the most powerful judges cannot change the verdict in the slightest degree. The sentence is not softened because of mental or physical incompetence, and there is no time off for good behavior.

Each year our planet makes a 595-million-mile orbit around the sun. It always travels at the rate of 66,600 miles per hour, and it completes its journey in exactly 365 days, 6 hours, 9 minutes, and 9 and 54/100 seconds. The time of the completion of the 595-million-mile journey can be more accurately foretold than your trip from the living room into the dining room.

Electricity is also a little bit on the narrow-minded side. A compass always points to the magnetic north—never to the east, the west, or the south.

The climate also follows a natural law.

OBAMACARE TABLETS

Just for you Doc...

Kanye just interrupted the Swayze funeral to remind them Michael Jackson had the greatest funeral of all time.

Twits and Town Halls

So what happens when you produce something so huge that it's virtually unreadable? Normally it's left unread. I call it the Harlot's Ghost maxim.

But what do you get when this strategy of over-delivering backfires? Pure comedy unmatched even by a Golden Girls marathon.

More specifically, you get pols who never read the health care bill faced with people who have. Witness the town hall meeting this past week with Senator Arlen Specter. The folks present didn't just read the bill, they're now quoting it - something even the titan of transparency never really wanted.

Even better, this level of discourse is coming from the non-Twitter crowd, the beyond Facebook folks more concerned with Lipitor side effects than Lady Gaga's lady parts. They are not motivated by racism, as the left wants everyone to believe, but by real concerns - some raised at the dinner table, some reasoned in books. None from Twitter, I imagine.

I only bring up Twitter, because as I watched the PA town meeting, I also came across an online column by Meghan McCain, i.e. Ron Reagan with curves. In a catty struggle for relevance among perceived rivals, she points out that while Michelle Malkin has the number one book on the New York Times bestseller list, McCain has "nearly twice as many Twitter followers as she does. And trust me, Twitter is more of an indication of where young people are than books published by the hyper-conservative publisher Regnery."

Maybe so, but did these "young people" read the health care proposal? Did they show up at town hall meetings? No – they're too busy Twittering about Twilight (yes, a dated reference, but I like how it sounds). Twitter might have been there for Iran, but in the end, the young people weren't.

And here is where McCain's crowing about Twitter reveals a mistake many people make: confusing mass for meaning; accumulation for content. The fact is, the phone book has everything I need to know about the world around me, but I don't take it to the beach to read. The phone book inspires no one, for it is (or was) a tool used by others to facilitate communication – much like Twitter. To confuse the messaging system with the message should tell Meghan her message needs work. Considering she just signed a hefty book deal, I'd get on that soon.

Which brings me back to those old coots railing at Arlen Specter. That was an honest spectacle generated by a generation unencumbered by the desire for "followers." Their concerns are bigger: increased government control, their family's well-being, and of course their own mortality. They realize that 5000 followers will not come to their funeral. And sadly for Megs, they probably don't buy books either.