Arrogant American

So an advertising firm out of Rolling Meadows posted an ad looking for a technical writer -one who mustn't be an "arrogant American."

Because the job would deal with Chinese businesses, Viva USA - a placement firm - wanted to make sure they attracted applicants who were "respectful."

Naturally, once the news got out, the ad was taken town, with the firm blaming the client for the actual wording. They didn't read the ad they posted, they seem to be saying - which I doubt.

Now, it's not really a big deal, unless you consider how it might have turned out if Yanks weren't the target.

Imagine if the ad had read:

"Please, no drunk Brits need apply - or if you do, don't vomit in our plants."

Or "If you're violently Scottish, please refrain from knifing anyone in the parking lot unless they really deserve it."

Or, "Sneaky Russians are welcome, but don't poison the boss with dioxene until you're absolutely sure he's a spy."

(Notice how I skipped the really offensive stereotypes!)

Bottom line: that "arrogant" wording in the ad got through because everyone who saw it agreed with it.

And let's face it: we are arrogant Americans.

And by arrogant, I really mean successful.

See, the world views our success as arrogance - because we're really good at doing good. And to most of the globe, that's bad. We now live in a world where competing is unseemly - unless of course, you're trying to out-recycle a neighbor.

But if you're trying to make money, invent stuff, save thousands of lives from natural disasters or eliminate maniac dictators - you're kind of a jerk.

I wonder where they got an idea like that.

Oh yeah.

Probably America. Can you say Barack Obama?

It seems were even the best at anti-Americanism, too.

And if you disagree with me, you're probably a racist homophobe with a yellow lab who hates cats.

So Bill O'Reilly had Jon Stewart on his program last night, and as expected, tempers flared. Roll Tape.

((PAUSE FOR SHOT OF GIRLS PILLOW FIGHTING))

Wow, it looks like the one in the oversized football jersey took a pretty big hit. But if you think things calmed down, you were wrong.

((PAUSE FOR MORE GIRLS PILLOW FIGHTING))

Yep, it was an entertaining spectacle, with Stewart and O'Reilly both scoring legitimate points. However, I take issue with one thing Stewart said.

Sorry, I mean everything.

First, he made a big deal about Fox News laying off President Bush, while now it lays into Obama.This, friends, is nuttier than squirrel squeeze.

While Bush was president, he was trashed by a left wing posse who delighted in military defeat, for it meant their side was winning. To them, "dissent was patriotic," even if it meant dead troops. Fox wasn't ignoring Bush's actions, it was reacting to that - what I would later call the "patriotic terrorist." I witnessed a fully realized anti-American lynch mob, who would rather win an election than a war - and that made me more of a conservative than 9/11, my life at Berkeley, or all those head injuries combined.

Wanna see proof of my point? Ask yourself, where the feverish anti-war movement is, now that Obama is in power?

Lastly, Stewart's got to stop whining about Fox News tilting to the right. The New York Times just ran a piece pointing out the dearth of conservatives in journalism, theater, therapy and academia. You've got a Democratic House, a Democratic Senate, a Democrat for a President, a liberal media, a leftwing Hollywood, a liberal art and music culture - you've got it all. And you're mad Fox News isn't playing ball? What happened to that whole "dissent is patriotic" crap? It seems Fox News only looks right, because everything else is left.

Anyway, I wish I could have said this to Stewart in person. But I'm not allowed near him. You send a tube sock full of bird seed and nude photos, and suddenly they think you're a threat!